GOD NUDGES

My Sweet Girl

2011-11-20T11:25:00.001-05:00

So, I have a daughter that lately seems like an angel. I mean, really, she cleans up her stuff off the table every time. She hugs her brother when he is scared of the dark and lets him sneak in her room and sleep in her bed if he thinks monsters are in his closet. She writes sweet notes to me EVERY DAY...no joke...it's EVERY DAY. She cheers her brothers on at their football games and does flips for every touchdown they make. She does her chores. She does not complain that our house is filled to the lid with boy stuff and that she has to share a bathroom with those dirty, smelly boys. She is a sweet kid in so many ways.
Now, I know she is not perfect. She also gets a bit punky at times. She cries over things that are not a reason to cry...heck she cries sometimes and does not even know what she is crying about. She has a hard time letting the past go. But in the end we are left with a little girl who is as sweet as a lump of sugar and as kind hearted as Mother Teresa. She is really truly that super of a kid.
And yesterday, well, yesterday was a HARD day for her. School was rough...friends were mean, she was not listened to, she was scolded, she was "unfriended" and all she wanted to do was go home. She desperately wanted to go home.

She wanted to simply be left alone and go sit with her mommy and daddy and let them make it all disappear. She wanted HOME...
   She wanted HOME...
   She wanted HOME!
And I so get that.
This world is NOT our home.
This world is NOT our place of comfort.
This world is full of bad things and bad days and hard stuff.
But this world is not our home.
And I can't wait for the day that my sweet girl gets to see HEAVEN and experience the life that she deserved all along. Her little life has already been 100 times harder than most adults lives. She deserves more...she deserves HEAVEN.
And I hope and pray that her heart longs for heaven like I long for it for her.
She is SO deserving!

And what an amazing blessing to know that there IS a place where all of the pain and hardship falls away. We have a HOME with our heavenly Father where the things that exhaust our emotions and minds and hands do not exist. What a blessing!

It's the BIG things...

2011-03-01T11:05:00.000-05:00

I hear sayings often that indicate that life is really about the little things. Most of the time I love those sayings but tonight...well, tonight I was moved to tears by the BIG things of life.

As I type this my sunshine is literally sitting on my lap. It's midnight and he is laying on my lap with my laptop on his lap while he sleeps in my arms. About 30 minutes ago I heard his little footsteps coming down the stairs. His tired little body, topped with his tousled hair, came down the stairs with his bear (Brownie) and his blanket (night-night) in his hand and his whitey-tighty's on backwards. He curled up in my lap and has found comfort in his mama's arms.

His MAMA's arms.

His mama just happened to be watching Life Unexpected.

I paused it for a minute until I was sure that he was asleep and then pressed the play button again. The show, if you have not seen it before, is about a teen girl who grew up in the foster care system. This episode revealed some of the horrible things that the teen (Luxe) endured in her early years. It was the type of thing that many of us think happen only in tv shows or in other countries.

THAT is an untruth...

It happens in real life.

It happens every day.

It most happens in your neighborhood.

It sometimes happens to YOUR kids.

It happened to some of MY kids.

But it did not happen to all my kids...it did NOT happen to Sunshine.

He is a baby that our system saved.

He was SAVED...do you hear that? I do...I LIVE IT, and it's a BIG thing.

We hear a lot how the system is broken.

How foster parents are bad and caseworkers are too busy to really help the kids in the caseload.

And sometimes that is true.

But sometimes it's NOT.

This little boy, this bundle of JOY is a SAVED child. The system that Oprah and Dr. Phil like to talk bad about...that same system is exactly the system that saved his life. I truly believe that his very life was spared by the hands and heart and mind of his caseworker and other people who were involved in his case. He would not have lived if he were in the care of his mother or father.

Sunshine's life was spared....and THAT is a bIG thing.

And you know what is even bigger?

That I get to be his mom.

That I get to be the one that he comes to at night when the world is dark and scary.

That I get to be the one that he calls Mama.

THAT is not a little thing...it's a HUGE thing.

And tonight THAT is what I am thankful for.

It's a BIG thing and it came a BIG cost to a lot of people who worked their hearts and hands off.

IT's BIG...HUGE!

Thanks Dawn, Roxanne, Harriet, Melissa, Jill, Etc... Your work saved a life....my sunshine's life. and THAT is HUGE!

And then there is the GOD NUDGE...dying for us is also not a little thing. It's a HUGE thing.
Why do we so often forget the big things?

KEEPING TRACK

2011-02-11T16:35:00.000-05:00

One of my kiddos just came home and showed me where he is keeping tally marks in his notebook during one of his classes. He is keeping track of the number of times that she yells during class. I am cracking up. As the other kids are sitting there getting upset about being yelled at and feeling all emotional my son is just sitting there, unnoticed, making tally marks.
And then I wonder...what is he keeping tally marks on me about. I am going to have to start keeping an eye open for little pieces of paper around the house with tally marks on them.
And then God Nudged...some of my other kids are very vocal about what I do that makes them upset/mad/emotional. This particular child is not. That does NOT mean that it does not affect him. It just means that he keeps in inside. So, I need to start my own tally marks for myself. I need to keep track of myself so that he is not internalizing my mis-steps as a parent.
He is worth that...SO worth that!

Paralyzed

2010-09-23T09:06:00.000-04:00

Parenting kids with emotional trauma can be a hard thing. Admittedly I sometimes feel sorry for myself...

until I am reminded of how they must feel.

So, the other day some friends were over and we were talking about how crazy dirty my oven was. And I admitted that I have NEVER cleaned the oven. . . NEVER!! Not even once have I done it. Now, that sounds pretty awful but let's remember who it is...it's ME and I don't really cook anything either so my oven stays generally pretty clean. But we've lived in this house for three years now and it my oven was starting to smell when I turned it on. So, my friends told me how to clean it.

Then next night I cleaned it.

About an hour into the "cleaning" I saw THIS.

Now, I don't usually think it's a good thing for my oven to be on fire.

And so, I paniced.

I had no idea what to do.

What was running through my head was the way that one of my kid's classmates had their whole house burn down last year...the whole thing...GONE!

And I had NO idea what to do. I could see that the inside of the oven was quite hot and I could not decide if I should open the door and use the fire extinguisher on it or if I was best to keep it sealed up in there. I mean, ovens are made to keep heat in right?

I shooed my kids out of the kitchen to save their lives...and then I stood there...paniced...not knowing what to do.

And then I thought...maybe this is what is suppose to happen.

And I stood there some more...Looking like an idiot with no idea what was happening around me and being too scared to give anything a try.

And in the midst of my internal panic GOD NUDGED.

I realized that I was probably feeling exactly like my kids do sometimes.

I had NO idea what to do.

They OFTEN have no idea what to do.

I was not prepared for the fire.

They were not prepared for the fires they have been handed in life.

I did not know what was going on or how to deal with it.

I think that sometimes kids with emotional issues are just lacking in the ability to separate the world from their fear. They walk around living with fear. One of my kid's psychologists said it this way, "They hear Jaws music everywhere they go...and it's paralyzing."

That was it for me in that moment...I felt the Jaws music and I was paralyzed by fear. I was fearful that I would burn my house down but I was so fearful that I was unable to do anything about it. For some reason it never occurred to me to open up my computer and see if it's ok for your oven to be on fire when you are cleaning it. I could have called a friend...maybe the very one who told me how to clean my oven...but I did not even think of it. I could have grabbed the oven's manual and read about cleaning the oven and what to expect...but the thought never crossed my mind.

There were a million things to do to find my answer but the fear paralyzed me so instead I stood there.

Sometimes my kids stand there with a look of utter stupidity on their faces. It still catches me off guard when it happens. I know that they can figure things out on their own...I have seen them do it. But instead half of the time they stand there motionless with blank faces.

So, I am going to keep this photo somewhere I can see it from now on.

It is not stupidity that makes my kids unable to cope...they have the tools to find the answers that they need. Rather it is FEAR that leaves them unable to access their own ability to search out the answer. And instead of me being upset for them just standing there maybe they need me to put my arm around them and remind them that NOW they are safe and that they are not ALONE.

No playing for us...we have a floor to clean!

2010-09-16T09:11:00.000-04:00

So, what do you do when these things all happen at the same time:

1. You have 5 kids.

2. All 5 of your kids are restless.

3. You are stressed.

4. Your floors have not been mopped for at least a week.

5. You have gone through all the mismatched socks and found homes for the ones that have them and are left with a bunch of mismatched socks with no partners.

Well, thanks for asking...I would love to answer that question for you...just in case it ever happens to you!

Step Number One, Put mismatched socks on all of the 5 children.

Step Number Two, Put water and soap on the floor.

Step Three, LET THE SLIDING BEGIN!

And, "YES" the floor did truly get clean....and we had fun doing it!!!

Say WHAT??

2010-09-08T20:52:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am letting my very short 10 year old play football this year.

Some mothers would not do that...they would be scared that he would get crushed.

Not me, I am BRAVE.

I am able to face the fear head on and let God take care of him.

I am fearless.

I believe in my 4th grader.

I will not bite my nails in fear.

I can take the heat.

I will NOT hold my son back from anything because he is short.

I am woman, hear me.....

WHAT DID YOU SAY???

THIS IS A LEAGUE FOR 4TH, 5TH AND 6TH GRADERS.

"SOLDIER, get over here right now...we are going HOME for milk and cookies!"

(yep, he's the one in the middle with the white shirt on)

COLTS FEVER

2010-08-31T09:20:00.001-04:00

If you've ever met my Soldier then you know at least one thing about him to be true.

The kid is a COLTS FAN!

I found a Marvin Harrison jersey at the Goodwill that fit him and he proceeded to wear it until the back read "Harriso" then until it said "Harris". I tried to pry it from his hands but he would not hear of it.

I found another one at the Goodwill. Really, the EXACT same one. (Thanks God!) Now he has two to wear and I have had to develop a new system in his closet so that I can keep him from wearing them every day. Without our new system he would be wearing a Marvin Harrison jersey EVERY DAY!

He has posters hanging in his room of the colts team and coach.

He has their schedule memorized and scores of all the games for the last several years.

Last year we found out half way through the year that he had a book called Blue Heaven checked out of the library and he kept renewing it over and over while there was a waiting list of 17 kids wanting the book. It is a book about the year the colts won the superbowl.

He has figurines of the Colts players.

And he was happy to have surgery when he had it done because he was having it done at Peyton Manning Children's Hospital.

I am telling you the kid is a fan!!!

He is a shy kid but if you talk with him it will not take him long to divulge his love for the Colts to you.

Just about EVERYTHING about him shouts of that love.

EVERYTHING!!!

So, when I sat down the other night after putting the kids to bed I was not surprised to see this...

In case you forgot to put on your glasses...here it is up close!

First Day Report

2010-08-29T14:26:00.004-04:00

So, my youngest is off to kindergarten. The transition has been pretty great really. He has been tired a lot of course and a bit grouchy too. And, if you know my sunshine you know that he is not grouchy EVER...so, it's a bigger adjustment than you might think. :) But he likes school and is making friends and doing well.

That said, I thought I would give you some of the hilights of the back to school days of Sunshine.

THE FIRST DAY DROP OFF:

So, this year I am taking my kids all to school and picking them up. We have been trying to walk or ride bikes most days but on the first day backpacks were heavy so we drove.

He was all set in his cute little backpack and ready to go. He got out of the van with his posse of siblings surrounding him. I could tell from the back of him he was a bit nervous but he took hold of his big brother's hand and off they went...like ants heading back to the hill.

All 5 of mine are at the same school this year. It's nice to know that they are all together there...just in case. I guess it's not comforting if the school is bombed or set on fire...but other than that It's a good thing. :)

So, watched them walk away and then set off for my own meeting. As I drove I could not help but notice that my back seat was really quite empty. The view from my rear view mirror has changed a lot over the last several years but this is a totally new view for me. It's a lot more relaxing though. :)

THE BACKPACK:

For some reason I wanted to get him a new backpack that was PERFECT. I sat at my friends house for a few hours and searched the internet for one that was just right. I found nothing. The next day I went to several stores. I found nothing. Then I found it on the internet that night. The PERFECT backpack. It has a strap that will keep the doggone thing on him no matter how many times he falls from the car to the classroom. It is easy to open and close. It's comfy and well built. And it's just really cute.

And I paid for it...UGH!!! It is VERY NOT like me. I am a goodwill shopper and a mender of broken backpacks. But I guess since it's the last time I buy a backpack for the first day of kindergarten I just had to do it. Don't know why...it was just a HAVE TO! And, I might add that it is the cutest backpack ever and it is exactly perfect.

And when he comes home from school he has stuffed his papers into the tiny little pocket at the top of the backpack. They are crinkled and stuffed in true Sunshine style. And I love it.

And so those are some of my little memories of my baby's first few days of school.

Glad They Are Boys...

2010-08-23T20:48:00.005-04:00

I never planned to have kids at all. I thought I would be childless up until about 8 months before Superhero showed up. I was never that girl dreaming of the children I would one day have. I never imagined their names or what they would look like or their sexes or the order they would be born in. So, I can't tell you if I wanted to be a boy mom or a girl mom or a mix of both. I don't know what I pictured myself as but I will say that I am glad to be the mom of 1 girl and 4 boys.

My girl is GIRLY...and I am glad for that. She makes all things giggly and pink and frilly and sparkly. She adds so much to our life. And I LOVE HER TONS. She is the one and only princess in our home and she loves that role. And I am glad that she has no competition for that title. I am glad that she gets all the girly things and that when the boys hear the word princess their one and only sister wears that title in their heart.

We are all happy that we have 4 boys and 1 girl.

There is just something about my boys that is fun and weird and just really neat.

And I love my boys.

But there are drawbacks to boys as well:

They sure do eat more than girls do (my girl anyway).

They miss the toilet WAY too often.

The feet...OH THE SMELL...I'm about to puke just thinking of it.

They are always talking about or dreaming of sports...ALREADY.

And the dirt seems to just jump up and grab them.

And my boys seem to know that there is something special about being a boy too.

Here is the list of the top 5 reasons it's better to be a boy than a girl as told to me in the van the other day by my own special boys.

1. You get to go to work instead of take care of kids all day

2. You get to fart and noone thinks it's odd.

3. You get to stand up to pee.

4. You get to mess around with girls...

(Yes, he meant that he gets to tease them and play jokes on them...but in a few years I am guessing he will see how very hilarious that statement is.)

5. You don't have to be the butler for the kids and dad.

Now, I am no therapist but I am thinking that it does not take one to realize that THIS MOM needs to step it up and make the kids and dad start pulling their own weight around here...let there be no mistake...I AM NOONE'S BUTLER.

Oh, wait, was that the doorbell? I better go!

-The Butler

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

2010-08-11T18:51:00.003-04:00

Sweet little one I know you are much bigger now but in my heart time with you stands still.

Please know that I still think of you every single day and send prayers up for you.

You are loved in our home with an eternal love.

We can not wait to hear all the wonderful and happy and fun things that this year brings you.

You are a blessed little girl who God has given so much to.

Hug your mama and daddy every day and tell God thanks for blessing you with the love and safety of their arms!

Happy Birthday!!

Here Comes the SUN!

2010-08-10T01:39:00.006-04:00

I am pretty sure that this picture was taken yesterday.

Wasn't it just yesterday when we picked this little guy up from the hospital.

You can tell me it wasn't but I am pretty sure I won't believe you.

I remember the first time I saw his face.

The cheeks that seemed to never end.

You know that song, "This is the song that never ends...It just goes on and on my friends".

Well, truly, that song came to mind when I saw Sunshine for the first time but with a few different words.

My head played it something like this, "These are the cheeks that never end...they just go on and on my friends".

Yeppers, I am pretty sure that it was just yesterday that we picked this sick little boy up from the hospital and began to nurse him back to health.

I'm pretty sure that it was just yesterday that we began what is now routine in my life...taking sunshine to doctors and hospitals and therapists and wherever they suggested that might help him.

It was yesterday I swear it's true. At least that is what my heart is telling me at the moment.

I am quite sure that it was yesterday when we he laughed and laughed at nothing at all.

And he made us happy.

Happy that he did not have to know that at the same time he was laughing we were crying for the fact that we did not know if any second he could be taken and given to the very mom who had not taken care of him and his siblings.

If at any moment he could be introduced to a life where his laughter was stripped away and replaced with fear and lifelessness.

Wasn't it yesterday that we spent hours each day just trying to get him to lift his head and look around.

In my heart it feels like yesterday.

In my heart I am sure that at any second I will hear him cry and realize that he needs a bottle again.

My heart seems to still believe that simply a few days ago we were enamored at how a child who could not sit up or put his hands together or babble or move could take our hearts in his hands with the sound of his giggle.

Wasn't it yesterday that he learned to sit up.

No matter what my mind tells my heart I swear to you I took this photo yesterday.

I am pretty sure it was just yesterday that I left him unsupervised for one minute and came back to find he had eaten the better part of my Big Mac.

And it was yesterday we fought with our lives to keep the child that our hearts knew was ours all along.

Yesterday we lived with fear that we would be without him for even one day.

But today.....

Today is different.

Today we turned around....

And he was 5.

And we all know what 5 means......

Kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, the boy that we fought for, and that taught our hearts how to love unselfishly, who taught us how it feels to be HELD by God, who we feared would one day be taken....

That boy, that VERY boy.....

is heading off to all day kindergarten...

and his mommy is letting him go.

I guess it starts here...this process of letting him go physically.

I hope that the next years don't fly by quite as quickly as the first 5 did.

But either way...this one...this little guy has added more to our lives than we knew was possible.

He is our SUNSHINE, our JOY.

And tomorrow we let him fly off to spread his joy a little further.

And we will miss the socks off of him.

But we can't wait to see what the world holds for this special little boy.

If he can change the hearts of so many in just 5 years then this world better watch out.

Here comes the SUNSHINE!!!!!

(I will miss you baby...and I am not done fighting for you...that will NEVER END!)

-Mommy

And here is the nudge...God adopted us. He fought for us. He suffered for us and takes joy in us. He loves us with a love that makes my love for my sunshine look like hatred. Now that is something so amazing I truly can't imagine it. How about you? Can you imagine that kind of love? It's a blow your socks off love!!!

Never ask me to babysit

2010-08-06T22:12:00.001-04:00

Really...

you should NEVER do it! :)

2010-08-05T23:01:00.000-04:00

Sitting....In my family room

Drinking...Organic Lemon Lime Soda.

Listening...to House reruns.

Refusing...to let my mind wander onto things that are out of my control.

Amazed...at how God continues to love me even when I ignore him for so long.

Eager...to see how the first week of school goes for my kiddos.

Trying to Decide...if I need to return my glasses or not.

Currently Reading...The Anxious Child, Mama's Got a Fake I.D.

Loving...life's little moments.

Not Loving...loss.

Wondering...what new thing God will do with my life next...and if I will like it.

Home Tour...stop #2

2010-03-17T09:25:00.005-04:00

So, I am trying to finish up decorating the house (finally) now that we have it all painted and make it so that we finally have a home to live in. :)

So, I am challenging myself to put up pictures of one room at least every other week. I hope that will motivate me to finish up a room or two each month. Most of them are mostly done

and just need a few more things hung or rearranged. Maybe this will motivate me.

So, for the second stop on our tour...my downstairs bathroom.

It seems silly but this is a room I am in love with. It is just very ME. It holds in it things that I love and it just really turned into a space that I enjoy very much. In fact the other day I was in there wishing that the toilet was a comfy chair and the sink was a bookshelf holding my favorite books...How nice that would be.

So, these frames are frames that my husband salvaged from my grandma's house after she passed and we auctioned off most of her possessions. I am in love with them. They are not wood...some sort of plaster like treatment. Anyway, I painted behind them with chalkboard paint and we write different verses and sayings and things as we see fit.

Sometimes they have spelling words and sometimes they have messages to people who are visiting our house. Sometimes they have bible verses or sayings that remind us of what is important in life.

Above the sink I hung a mirror from my great grandma's stuff that my grandma had. I love that I can look into the same mirror that my ancestors once looked at themselves in.

My only hope for this room still is a nice bronze faucet one day down the road and maybe painting the sink cabinet.

The color is Mark Twain Brown and it is an AWESOME color. The color is more true in the first two photos than in the one of the sink area.

Anyway, there she is...my favorite room in the house (wierd as it seems I think it's true...for now).

Bet I Can Make You Laugh!

2010-03-10T18:21:00.007-05:00

So, I have been feeling a bit nostalgic and going through some old photos lately.

It has been really fun to do.

I love that we have pictures to transport us to another place/time.

Fortunately many of our family pictures transport me to a time of laughter.

So, I thought I would share some of those laughs with you all. :)

Here is clown involved in a poker game with his daddy and grandparents.

He is the kind of kid that just lives life funny.

He does not have a clue how funny he is....but WE SURE DO!

Here is one of our kidos transferring laundry form the washer to the dryer for me.

It's tough being short! :)

Billy bob teeth....

Are ALWAYS funny...no matter how old the wearer! :)

Clown has the best facial expressions of all time.

Sometimes the hair just does not cooperate...even for a princess.

See what I mean...the kid just lives life funny!!

Wigs on 5 month olds are funny...I don't care who you are!

Once again...I repeat myself...he just lives life funny!

This happened one night Superhero went upstairs to get his PJ's on.

Sunshine decided to do the same thing.

Here is how they came back downstairs.

Yes, Sunshine has pajama tops on his bottom!

I keep thinking of how lucky we are that our God created us with a sense of humor (admitedly he gave some of us a bigger dose than others).

My Finally Finished Mudroom:

2010-03-06T11:46:00.007-05:00

We have lived in our current home for over 2 years now and truly...there are three rooms that are finished in our home...I thought I would show you a few of them over the next few weeks. Hopefully soon there will be more to show.

I finished the mud room today by applying the vinyl words above the jars.

These jars once belonged to my grandma. She was the original "green" living poster child. She never threw anything away (to the point that it was NOT good). One thing she always kept were her jars. She loved canning and she kept jars to can in but she also just loved jars. She gave me some of these jars when she was living and the rest I acquired from her collection after she passed. I have studied up on some of these jars now and have truly learned to love old jars. It's a wonderful connection to her, one I wish I had discovered long before I did.

These jars are special and they hold special mementos from our life so far. The kids and I like to wade in creeks and when we do we always gather one treasure we find while wading and bring it home with us to put in one of our jars.

This jar is filled with arm bands. Superhero insists on wearing these things until they literally fall off. So we decided to save them after they fall off. Some of these nasty things have been worn for nearly a year.

One of our jars is filled with marbles I use to play with when I was little.

One jar has pieces and parts of fallen GI Joe figurines my son has shaken till they have literally fallen apart.

One jar is one my best buddy gave me that has bees in it. Bees are an important reminder to me...humm...i will post that story soon so I am just going to let that hang there for now.

Anyway, these treasured jars hold may treasures in them.

We have also hung in this little space two photos that My hubby's grandfather painted long ago.

So, that is my mud room...a room full of loved items that I hope remind us daily of how blessed we are.

I Love You Mama...

2010-02-26T19:56:00.003-05:00

My Sunshine just snuggled up to me and said, "I love you mama....better than daddy. And I love daddy better than you."

Well...he hijacked that compliment. But he did make it into one that I could tell daddy about. :)

And that's our Jake.

Do you suppose that's how God feels when he looks at us...

like we are each his favorites...he just can't decide. Immense love...love that wants to tell each one that we are his favorites.

P.S.: Here is a funny for you. We are watching a show where a guy is named Thaddeus. Superhero just turned to us and said, "Oh, his name is Thaddeus! I thought they were calling him Fatty-us!" Boy-oh-Boy

Let the Good Times Glide!

2010-02-23T09:21:00.008-05:00

So, if you have ever wondered what you would experience if you took 5 kids ages 5-9 ice skating...here is a report for you.

You see lots of smiles,

And lots of falls.

You see a little boy who runs instead of skates...

And falls.

You see a child who takes off on skates like he has been skating for years...

But who can still be beaten by his daddy in a photo finish.

You see a little girl who loves more than anything just to hold hands with her uncle...

and enjoy his presence...

You see a mom and her boy work out a way to skate together...

that eventually leads to mom needing a break in the penalty box.

You see lots...

and LOTS of RACES...

and some bruised faces.

You see a child who is happy when he can finally skate on his own two feet...

But who is even happier to discover the joy of hand warmers!!!

And you see a WHOLE BUNCH OF ICE SKATES.

So, if this makes you long to take 5 kids ages 5-9 ice skating...just let me know...I know 5 KIDS would love to go with you! :)

Best Mom in the Milky Way

2010-02-18T16:21:00.003-05:00

My oldest son (Soldier) just came up to me and said, "You are the best mom in the galaxy...at least the Milky Way. That's the only galaxy I know."

Well, I guess I can live with that...the best mom in the Milky Way!

Some alien mom out there can have the other galaxys but I got the Milky Way all wrapped up! :)

Love that kid!!!!!

Thank You For...

2010-02-12T10:01:00.003-05:00

We have started this new thing in our house. It's not a creative idea...more of something we should have been doing for a long time and finally have started.

As I drive the kids to school we take turns telling about anything we would like prayer for during the day. Then one of us prays for everyone's prayer requests. I hate that we have just now started this practice. It's great on so many levels...teaching the kids to pray, building empathy for one another, seeing into each other's hearts, gives me insight into what my kid's hearts are crying, sharing with one another, taking things to God...you get the point....I see so much good in this practice.

It is usually Clown that offers to pray and today was no exception. Everyone had spelling tests today they wanted to ace...not a thrilling pile of requests. But as Clown started to pray I was struck by his wording. It's the same wording he always uses and to be honest it has always annoyed me a bit...until today....when GOD NUDGED me to see it from HIS perspective. Clown prayed, "thank you for Princess doing her spelling test good. Thank you for Superhero get his test all right. Thank you for Soldier to get his spelling perfect. Amen." So, here is the thing. Always before it bugged me that he says "Thank You for..." for instead of "Please help...". But isn't that how God tells us to pray...believing that it will happen. Clown has it all right. He is simply thanking God for what he prays truly believing that it will happen. So, I am going to try and do another thing that the Bible tells us to. I am going to pursue becoming more like a child. I am going to give Clown's approach a try. I am going to try to pray with a believing heart much more often.

And today when those spelling tests come home I am going to rejoice with all of them over their A's! :)

Here's to Believing...

My Friends...

2010-01-13T23:58:00.000-05:00

Over the last few days I have had the chance to spend time with friends of mine.

These are the kind of friends whose souls you love so much that when you are with them you are home. They are friends who you need not put on a face for.

They are friends who get you when you say nothing and when you make a joke that is not funny they don't give you a sympathy chuckle cause you would see right through it anyway.Over the last 5 years a lot has changed inside me. I wonder often how much people see the change in me. I feel it on a daily basis...the changes inside me...the difference. The world that was once so easy became wrought with things that were not easy. I use to cry at night OFTEN because I would think of heaven and I did not want to go. For one thing I could not grasp it...FOREVER, ETERNITY, ETC... For another thing I was in love with my life here on earth and could not imagine anything worth leaving this life for. I am not saying that life now is bad. In fact, my life is full of joy unlike anything I have ever experienced before. But along with that joy came the reality of what SIN has done to this world. And now I LONG for the day that I get to go to heaven with my children and family where we will all be restored. What a glorious day that will be. A day when we all know what love is and our cups overflow with it. A day when we no longer know what grief is. A day when we are all able to dance like Paula Abdul (in the 80's) and look like Jennifer Aniston (it does say that in the Bible doesn't it?). A day when our friends are just an arm's reach away. A day when if we have a question for God we just lean over and ask him.

Anyway, all of that is said because this week I realized just how glad I am that during our time here on earth God saw it fit to gift us with friends who are a bit of heaven here on earth.This week I left a town full of friends to go visit another town full of friends and while I was there we ran into more friends and every one of them reminds me of the best things in life which makes me long for heaven where I am sure I will still sit on couches and drink warm tea with my friends...and my GOD!

Something I Have Learned From My Daughter:

2009-08-23T22:33:00.003-04:00

When you are trying to hang with the boys who are shooting paintballs with blow guns...

But you mess up big time and suck in instead of blow out and get blue paint all over your lips...

Just smile and strike a pose and all will be well.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE THIS STINKING CUTE!

Bill of Rights for Parents of Kids With Special Needs

2009-07-11T21:37:00.003-04:00

I am stealing this from Chrystal who stole it from Bethany, whole stole it from Michelle who asked nicely for it from Ellen.

We, the parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure tranquility (and sanity) and promote the general welfare of our families, do ordain and establish this Bill of Rights.
* We have the right to expect our kids to be seen for who they are as individuals, not as labels or diagnoses.
* We have a right to trust our instincts about our kids and realize that experts don't always know best.
* We have a right to ignore the remarks, questions and stares and not give explanations or excuses for why our children are the way they are.
* We have a right to choose alternative therapies for our kids.
* We have a right to roll our eyes straight out of our heads when we encounter certain mothers who brag nonstop that their kids are the smartest students/best athletes ever.
* We have a right to wonder “What if…” every so often.
* We have a right to play aimlessly with our children. Not for therapeutic or educational purposes—just for fun.
* We have a right to blast Bruce Springsteen/Tom Petty/Any Rocker, down a glass of Pinot Grigio, get a pedicure, go out with the girls or do all of the aforementioned at once if that's what it takes to avoid burnout.
* We have a right to react to people’s ignorance in whatever way we feel necessary.
* We have a right to not always have our child be the poster child for his/her disability and some days be just a child.
* We have a right to go through the grieving process and realize we may never quite be "over it." * We have the right to give our kids chores. Even better if they can learn to make breakfast in bed for us.
* We have a right to stretch the truth when we fail to do the exercises the therapist asked us to do this week because we were too darn tired or overwhelmed.
* We have a right to have yet more Pinot Grigio.
* We have a right to fire any doctor or therapist who's negative, unsupportive or who generally says suck-y things.
* We have a right to tell family and friends that everything may not be OK—at least not how they mean it, anyway.
* We have a right to hope for an empty playground so we don’t have to look into another child’s eyes and answer the question, “What’s wrong with him?”
* We have a right to bawl on the way back from the playground, the birthday party, the mall or anyplace where our children’s challenges become glaringly obvious in the face of all the other kids doing their typical-development things.
* We have the right to give our children consequences for their behavior. They may be “special” but they can still be a royal pain in the butt.
* We have a right to take a break from Googling therapies, procedures, medicine and treatments for our kids to research upcoming concerts, exotic teas or anything not related to our children’s disabilities.
* We have a right to talk about how great our kids are when people don’t get it.
* We have the right to not always behave as inspirational icons who never complain or gripe about the sometimes awful realities of raising a child with special needs.
* We have a right to expect quality services for our children not just when they’re infants, preschoolers and elementary school age, but when they’re in older grades and adults, too.
* We have a right to adequate funding for those services and to not have to kick, scream or endure a wait for them.
* We have a right to get tired of people saying, as they give that sympathy stare, "I don't know how you do it."
* We have a right to wish that sometimes things could be easier.
* We have a right to cheer like crazy anytime our children amaze us—or weep like lunatics.
* We have a right to push, push and push some more to make sure our children are treated fairly by the world.
(Compiled in honor of her little boy, Max, June 17, 2009.)

Best Buddie

2009-06-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

Do you have Friends? I mean REAL friends!

I do. I think I have since I was very young.

I don't know even how we met but I had a best friend Aylish when I was young. She and I got each other on a level that noone else seemed to be able to. We would sit on the boat in her barn and turn on the radio and sing at the top of our lungs and dance into pretend microphones until we were a pile of giggles. We would talk about the things of God too...struggles we had and things we were learning. We worked through life together.

In Jr. High and High School I had a best friend named Rachel. We just spent time together. She was (and is) a fun person to be around. We laid on the kitchen floor and ate entire boxes of stove top stuffing, we went "cruising" when we were not suppose to, we dated guys who were also best friends. And we talked about the things of God too...why we believed what we believed, what was stupid about religion, what we were learning or overcoming. We did life together and were nearly inseperable for many years.

I had best friends in college too...several of them. We laughed with each other, played pranks on others together, ordered dominos pizza at midnight, and set off fire alarms with Aqua Net and a match together. But we also talked about the things of God. We talked about our hardships and our inadequacies. We helped each other through some major transitions of life. We prayed for each other. We studied the Bible together. We lived life together pointing each other toward God and working together to make our faith our our own.

I have had best friends through all of my adult life. Friends who pointed me to God and who held me up when I could not hold myself. Friends who were willing to just be there. Friends who were willing to carry me or yell at me to straighten up. Friends are just something that noone should be without.

And God has already begun to bless my children with such friends. One of my sons already has a tried and true friend that is more of a friend than most grown men find. They have been friends since before they were both 2. They lay on the floor and laugh together about the word "poop". They complain about their little brothers together. They use their imaginations to make up secret worlds and handshakes and stories together. And they share with each other the things of God as well as a 8 year old can.

They are best buddies and as they grow and we have moved away they still have that same bond that tells them that they are BEST BUDDIES.

Over the last month I have had the opportunity to renew some of those old friendships and it has caused me to refelct on how good our God is. How he knew that we needed him in flesh and blood sometimes. I believe that he sends friends into our life to be his hands and feet.
What a gift friendship is. I hope that all of you have a friend who is there for you to do life with and point you to God. If not be that friend for someone else and soon you will.

Fourth of the Fourth

2009-06-25T23:43:00.000-04:00

I saw this on A Kiss, A Hug, and a Squeeze a long time ago and thought it would be fun. The challenge was to go to where you keep your photos on your computer and open the 4th photo in the 4th folder and then put it on your blog and explain it. So, here it is. The 4th photo in my 4th photo folder.

This is one of the days that I aged several years. This is our clown after surgery. It was only surgery to correct his umbilical hernia and he was only under the knife for about 20 minutes but it seemed like an eternity to me. There is no feeling like the one that comes when you see your child being rolled down the hallway on a huge bed for surgery. There is nothing one can do but wait and pray...pray that the worst of your fears will not come true. And as we sat there that day I realized how utterly powerless I truly am. And I realized how thankful I am to not be the one with the power in my life.
Truth be told, we spend a lot of time in that hospital with geneticists, endocrinologists, sleep doctors, E.R. visits and a myriad of other specialists. I spend a good amount of time there and when I do I am always slapped in the face with the reality of how fragile life can be. And I am so glad that I am not in control of my children's life but that God is in the driver's seat. I am glad that his hands of protection are wrapped around our children's lives, hearts, minds and bodies.

Dawn...

2009-06-06T23:14:00.000-04:00

Here is something a friend told me I should do on here and I thought it sounded fun.

I googled my name followed by a few phrases. This is what my search revealed and my comments about it.

Dawn Looks Like:
The lady from Roger Rabbit I have been told worse...It's all good!
A planet I have not been told worse than that!
She was punched in her eyes Funny, today I feel like I was punched in my eyes too...these allergies are killing me!

Dawn Likes:
To work in the yard No, I do not like to work in the yard...when I do I end up with welts on my hands and that is just not pretty!
To drive the boat Rock the boat maybe but to drive it...I wil pass.
To think of herself as a, "thinker, a dreamer, and a writer" Humm...I would like to think of myself as a thinker but I am not....a dreamer I am...a writer I am sometimes but not lately as any of you that still drop by here know!

Dawn Says:
Yes we can I like to think I am a YES WE CAN kind of Dawn. I imagine that sometimes I am and sometimes I am not.
No to negotiations for Beijing when did I say that?
She gotta pay the bills somehow so why not show a little “sumthing sumthing” you know me...
Being the world's oldest natural mother is a blessing first I look like a planet and now I am the world's oldest natural mother!!!!

Dawn Wants:
A piece of Heaven I do want a piece of heaven...just to go realax in for 5 minutes a day...refresh and recharge. Now wouldn't that be nice?
A fishYummmmmy....Salmon, Tilapia, Tuna, I do want fish.
Robo calls stopped if I knew what robo calls were then I would definately want them stopped...I think....no, wait....I like robo calls...no, I hate them.....wait....no....yeah....um... Kmart Shopper's atention I often do have everyone in Kmart's attention when I go dragging two little boys through the store yelling "stop that", "get over here", "stop putting toys in the cart"...etc.

Dawn Does:
Not love you Yes I do, don't believe anything Google says.
A good job of burying all that goodness in annoying Did my brother write this? Anybody even notice Humm...I wonder this one sometimes. Does anyone notice the way that their meals seem to make themselves, their laundry jumps off their floors into the wash and then climbs back into their closets.

Dawn Hates:
Snowballs nope, I love them
Tattooed people I do not...I think God loves everyone and I should too...even if they are freaky tattoo wearing wierdos!!!!

Dawn Can:
Help you discover your Soul Purpose career For the low, low price of $19.95 I will tell you what your soul purpose career is...right after I look up what a soul purpose career is.
Confirm that our cooling solution is adequate That will cost you more than $19.95. Learn about Mars I am guessing that I will know all about Mars one of these days soon when my kids study it in school. That is one nice thing about having kids in school back to back from each other...I learn it one year and then for the next 3 years I review what I learned. I am going to be so smart one of these days!
Rest easy Nope, that is not me either!

Dawn goes:
On hunger strike Don't think that this has ever happened but after stepping on the scale today I think it may be time for me to find a cause.
To jail I am preparing to visit there all the time because at some point people will be able to prosecute Clown for his antics.

Dawn is:
Near I am always there...watching, waiting, stalking.
Me Can't argue with that one.
A feeling Really....who knew?
Mysterious and preoccupied yep, preoccupied I don't know about mysterious...you tell me.

Dawn loves:
Life some days...not lately though I must admit.
Mike, Matt, Chris, I do, I do...I love my brother in laws Mike and Chris and my cousin Matt and my friend Matt, and a naughty little boy named Matt I had in my class one year (but his mom...I did not love her or even appreciate her)
You You heard it here!
Herself just as she is Yep, just as I am...after I loose a few pounds, find a good dermatoligist who can get those white things off my face, and a few hundred other things...almost there! :)
Country music I do, I hate to admit it but I do!!!!!
Your neighbor as herself I hope I do. I might not like the neighbor that keeps calling the police on the other neighbor's dog for barking even though I NEVER HEAR THE DOG BARK!!!! Other than that I love all my neighbors! (sure hope that neighbor does not happen to be one of my 10 readers!!!!)

So, there you have it...that is what Google has to say about me. :)

A Keeper...no matter what

2009-04-05T00:38:00.003-04:00

I have something too good not to share with the three of you that still wander by this place.

My Clown goes to "farm school" one day a week and has some great experiences there with wonderful people who love him and allow him to do things like dig in the dirt and climb trees and conquer the world.

This week I took my camera to snap some pictures of him and Sunshine while they were there. When Clown's class was done he came running up to me holding this in his hand.

His teacher said he had held those flowers in his hand for a good portion of the time waiting to give them to me. If you know him at all then you know that this was a big deal to me. It was a reminder that he cares about me, that he thinks of me and wants to make me happy. That is a big deal for this little guy and we see more and more signs of it every month.

So, I was all full of this feeling and just soaking him up and taking in the beauty of the moment and snapping up photos of my youngest two little ones.....

And then.....

I snapped this photo of my little angel...
YES, HE IS TRYING TO LICK A BOOGER FROM HIS FACE!

I guess it's a good thing we have a few more years to teach him the finer things in life. :)

2009-02-28T22:00:00.004-05:00

Tonight I asked Clown to go collect the dirty clothes from the bedrooms in our house and take them to the laundry room. He came in a few minutes later and told me that he had touched "GIRL'S UNDERWEAR". I turned to him shocked and said, "Oh no...you know that if you touch girl's underwear you turn into a girl". Then I spent a few minutes trying to convince him that the process of him turning into a girl had already started.
After a while he said, "No, I can't be a girl because when I am hungry I pick my nose and eat it....WOULD A GIRL DO THAT?"

And that is how my clown keeps me laughing (and sometimes makes me want to puke).

Held Up

2009-02-15T00:16:00.005-05:00

It seems like lately everywhere I look I see human pain. Around every corner I spy pain and suffering of innocent people. It has been weighing heavily on me lately and I feel as if my eyes have magnifying glasses on them that seek out and find pain and impress it upon my heart. Quite honestly it has been getting me down and making my spirits weak and my heart heavy.

I have felt much like this pole: broken, battered, and barely hanging on.

I don't know what happened here but this is a pole that I drive by every day at least a couple of times a day on the way to and from my kid's school. One day out of the blue I noticed it hanging there. It seemed so odd to me and every time I drove by it I would examine the "wounded" part of the pole trying to figure out what happened. I was focusing solely on the pole's "wound".

One day after driving by that pole I saw it in a whole new light. Suddenly I stopped focusing solely on the "wound" and saw the bigger picture. That pole was not simply HANGING ON...It was being HELD UP. You can't see it in this photo but on either side of this pole there are two large, strong poles who are bearing the weight they are meant to hold as well as holding up their wounded neighbor

When I saw that pole being held up by it's "friends" it made me pause and reflect on the wounds I had been seeing lately. Yes, there have been bad things happening to people I love lately and yet as I take a step back there have been a lot of good things going on around those wounded soldiers. The wounds are still there but there is a lot of Holding up going on too. People are praying, making meals, fighting for people's well-being, helping financially, giving their time, opening up their homes, and simply being there for others.

I know that some will argue with me and I know that this world is full of pain and suffering...I have learned that lesson well...but I still believe that WE ARE GOOD! This world makes me long for heaven daily and yet if I can't be in heaven I am so glad to walk the earth with all of you...my fellow humans who still believe in good and who fight for those who are in the rough places of life.

It's interesting that when we are around pain and suffering we are often also around the best of humanity...those who act as God's hands and feet in our world and delve into the pain and suffering of others simply to help them. And if we are around pain and suffering and we don't find those who have already dove in to help then maybe, just maybe, it's time for us to BE the best of humanity.

Yours For The Children,

Up Late Or Up Early?

2009-02-02T06:52:00.004-05:00

So, it's 6:00 and I am up....

I can't decide if I am up late or up early but whatever...
I am up.

I have this internal struggle with why God allows pain and suffering in little children?

Anyone have any insight at all?

It seems that right now everywhere I look I see children suffering:

Babies born to moms who will not care for them...already damaged by their poor decisions,
some beyond repair.
Children suffering for years in hospitals.
Children whose only safe place in the world (a caring daycare center) has now been stripped away.
Children who have been stricken with emotional scars that only a miracle will even begin to erase.
Children who are unloved.
Children who are beaten.
Children who are not even touched.

So, the question remains why....
I guess it's one of those unanswerables.

And as such I suppose that we all have to pitch in and try our hardest to protect those who can't protect themselves. To that end I have some names for any of you that still drift by this place now and again.
Will you please pray with me for Avery (3), Dakota (1 month), Marilyn (1 month), Gavin (2), Brooklyn (4 months).

There are many more. I know that anyone of you who reads this will be able to name other names of children who suffer for things out of their control.

Please join with me in praying for these children and acting as their voice.

When I was the director of a child care center in Illinois I use to sign my letters like this and I let it go for some reason. I believe God is calling me back to stand in the gap for children...he is burdening my heart. I don't know what or where or WHY but I believe it's the new thing he is setting before me and so I think it's time to bring it back.

Yours for the Children,

Crackin us up...

2008-12-02T01:36:00.000-05:00

A MOMENT TO BEHOLD!

2008-11-05T13:50:00.004-05:00

Ok, so don't jump on here and tell me your political opinions or start down that road because I don't want to go there...
AND, don't suppose that you know who I voted for because you might be wrong...and you might be right (but you will never know cause I am not telling)!!!
So, here is the thing. I was the only one up when Obama delivered his speech last night. The rest of the house was still and quiet and I was watching alone in the dark.

And I cried.

When he started out his speech about how anything is possible it stopped me in my tracks. Really, would my great-grandparents have ever believed we would have an African American president? Would they have foreseen that? I doubt it. He did overcome odds that were stacked against him....NO, WE overcame. I don't mean "we" as "those who voted for Obama" I mean AMERICA. Are we not the nation that once judged people with dark skin to be less than those with white skin to the point that we let them be beaten, broken, bruised, and worse? YES people, we are that same nation. We once let African American people be treated worse than we treat our dogs. But we have overcome that. If nothing else good came out of this election THAT was proven. (I also have to say that I don't believe that discrimination no longer exists at all...I am quite sure that is not true.) But, as a nation we put a stop to what was going on. We said no and finally after years of fighting we turned the ship and headed in another direction. It is a victory in that respect.

So, here is the take home for me. I spend a lot of time fighting for children's rights, specifically the rights of the abused and neglected children in our country. I have to admit that it seems like it will never change. It seems like our country will never stand up for what is right and protect the children over the parents. It seems like a fight that we will not win.

Last night reminded me that it CAN be won. We CAN overcome that too.

It's not a stretch. It WILL happen, we just have to FIGHT for it. We have to fight harder than Martin Luther King Jr. We have to refuse to allow people to push our kids to the back of the bus.
We must stand up for the kids.

Here is the difference...we have to stand up for the kids...they can not stand up for themselves. They can not win this without us. They can not call congressmen. They can not speak out about it. They can not VOTE for someone who will protect them. They simply can NOT do it without us. So, we must stand up for them.

So, want some action steps?
Try these...

1. When you vote for family court judge really research it. Find out who will protect the kids even if it means from their own parents.
2. Simply stop in at your child protection agency and ask them what you can do...or write them a note. If you live in Monroe county call me and I will tell you who to talk to.
3. Find a foster parent and support them. They have a HARD job and it's nearly impossible to do it well without support and helping hands.
4. Become a CASA (court appointed special advocate). These people truly stand in the gap for the kids who are in foster care.
5. Vote for a Governor who cares and is going to do things to help the kids. Your governor has a lot to do with what happens to the kiddos that are in that position.

There are so many things that we can do we just have to look for them.
My sidebar has some links that you can explore if you want more ideas.

Together I we can stand up and truly turn the tide for the children.

Maybe YOU can be their Martin Luther!!!!

If I'd known then...

2008-10-28T15:50:00.000-04:00

So, last week I had my 35th birthday...yep, I know it's so much older than you predicted but it's true. :)
On the day of my birthday I was in a store with my bestest friend in the universe...I would link you to her blog HERE but she is not a "blogger". So, we were in a store and I stumbled upon a book called "If I'd Known Then". It was a collection of letters written by famous women to their younger selves. There are lots of things I would forewarn myself about if I could travel back in time and have a heart to heart with myself. So, here it is, my letter to myself:

Dear Dawn,
First let me tell you that so far it has all turned out well. As I reflect on the last 35 years I will more than admit that you have some pretty tough times ahead. There will be a loss of the nievety that you now enjoy...relish in the gift of nievity while it is yours. But remember that it's the refiner's fire that makes you pure, strong and beautiful. I know you think you have it pretty together and while that is true on many levels you have a lot to learn about many things and the refiner's fire will bring to you an understanding and empathy for others that far surpasses anything you have ever felt before. Practice empathy...it's a discipline that is lacking in you and it is an important one for you to learn. One of these days it will make a huge difference in your life.
Study hard in all your early childhood classes...you will use that knowledge base for more things than you have ever imagined. Yes, those dreams that seem lofty to others will come true so keep believing in those dreams. But God has so many more plans for you that you never imagined. Study hard and gain that knowledge while you can. It will help you one day in many, many ways. And, as you engage with the children you will encounter don't forget to learn from them each day. You will need their knowledge one day more than you can imagine.
Here are just a few more bullet points before I close.

#1 Enjoy being able to eat that other piece of pie and not gain a pound...but you better change those eating habits before 27 or so because that will all change drastically about then.

#2 Spend more time with your grandma...she truly won't live forever.

#3 Stop shopping now. As much as you like an uncluttered house you need to stop shopping right now. I won't tell you why because you would not believe me anyway but God will soon enough fill your house with more clutter than you could imagine so you better start pitching things and stop shopping immediately.

#4 Hug your child/children...yes you will have one or more so just enjoy every moment you can.

#5 As you and your husband move from place to place don't dismiss the possibility that you and he were called to that place not just for him but for you as well...God has amazing things planned for you everywhere you move too.

#6 Don't toss out all your fun shoes...you will be sorry!!!

#7 When getting married don't let your brother into the brides room with his toy car...nothing good will come of it. :)

#8 Don't hire the two people you wonder if you should or not...you shouldn't and then you just have to fire them and that is no fun at all!!!!

#9 As you get closer to my age now give yourself a break...noone is perfect and you have many plates spinning.

Now, my younger and much moreshapley self...go out there and chase after those dreams and look for the dreams God has for you. This is gonna be a wild ride so suit up!!!!

forever more

2008-10-04T15:30:00.000-04:00

Our little Princess is now 7...can you believe it? Seven!!! I remember talking with my dear friend as her son turned 7 about how 7 just seemed so big. I felt it for her when her baby turned 7 and 5 months later I grieved the dreaded age 7 as my oldest son turned 7. Then 3 months later as my next son turned 7 I grieved the percieved loss of his "little boy-ness". But I never imagined how much more it would affect me when princess turned 7. SEVEN, it's like she's nearly a teenager.

We have come a long way from here:to Here:

We have fought a lot of battles...some we have overcome and some we have yet to sieze victory in.

We have loved, we have grieved, we have hugged, we have cuddled, we have grown, we have lost our nievity, we have laughed, we have cried, we have fought, we have won, we have had a whole lot of fun.

We have had a heck of a few years and this little girl is a big part of the reason our years have been such a wonderful adventure.

We have many precious memories with her.

One happened the other night just before she turned seven...

As I lay her down in bed the other night we had one of those talks we have once in a while where she asks some seirous questions about her adoption and her early childhood. She moved in to our house at age 3 but she was able to keep contact with her biological mom on a limited basis until she was 4 1/2. So, she still has some memories of her and she still misses her from time to time. And she sometimes has a hard time feeling secure that we will be her parents forever now. Having been taken from her other parents was traumatic and still scares her internally on a daily basis. To her forever has no meaning and words are simply that...words.

But on this particular night as I promised her once again that she would be ours forever she asked how I knew that. I told her that the judge said on the day she was adopted that she was ours "forever-more". She asked what that meant and I was gifted with the words to say at that moment (thanks Holy Spirit). I told her that saying forever-more is like saying forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and then you keep saying "and ever" forever but noone could do that really so they just made the word Forever-More so that you did not have to say the "and ever" part forever. She looked at me and smiled having quite obviously found a bit of comfort in that answer and she snuggled in close and rested her head on my neck. I held her tight and just said to her, "forevermore baby girl...forevermore you will be ours. Noone can stop me from being your mommy forever more."

Praise God for forevermores!

top 20 reasons I have not blogged lately:

2008-09-19T21:26:00.007-04:00

Ok, so I am getting some emails about the lack of my blogging so I figured rather than admitting that I have been totally uninspired lately I would give you my top 20 excuses for not blogging. You pick your favorite excuse!

20. With the kids back to school I have had so much time on my hands I have not known what to do with myself so I am doing nothing.

19. I have been busy taking clown to school at his new "farm school"...AKA: Play therapy.
18. I have been too busy picking up Clown from school early because he is having a hard time standing in the pick up line without hurting his friends.

17. I have been cooking up a storm at my house with my new neighbor Christy...(is it still a new neighbor if I moved here 9 months ago?).

16. Making tiny cakes for an absolutely AMAZING sister and aunt takes longer than it might look like.
15. Doing homework with 4 kids is tying up my evenings.

14. Volunteering for sunshine math with my new neighbor Jamie (again...is 9 months NEW) is just taking more time than it should.

13. Those darn scholastic orders I decided to do for the teachers are just way more confusing than I remembered.

12. HOsting a birthday party for family on one day

and hosting a tea party for a group of giddy little 7 year olds the next day leaves no time for blogging.
11. Sunshine has had me busy cleaning up after his schenanegains.

10. We have been spending every spare moment shopping for the PERFECT couch...go ahead and weigh in. Do you have a favorite between these two?
9. Do you people think these children clean up after themselves?

8. Ah yes, there is the fall decorating at our house that is underway...ok, ok, the kids and I did it today in about 5 minutes...so, that was a small exaggeration!! (the rest of these things are totally true...uh yeah, "that's what she said")

7. I can't sit still enough to blog because I am so excited about the up and coming premiere of THE OFFICE.

6. I have been spending too much time clipping coupons and shopping sales to blog...like this night when Princess and I got ALL THIS STUFF FOR ONLY $68!!!

5. Sitting and watching my husband power wash, stain, and reassemble our ginormous swing set makes me tired.

6. The only key on my laptop that currently works is the t. Sunshine apparently thought he would clean it for me and he doused it in green clean...THANKS SON!

5. For a few days I was busy having my boys try on their fall pants...

4. For one day I was busy having my boys try on their fall/winter coats and jackets.

3. For one day I was busy having my boys try on their fall/winter pajamas.

2. For one day I was busy having princess try on her clothes (girls are so much easier...they LIKE to try on clothes)

1. For a few WEEKS I will be busy having my boys try on their fall/winter shirts... This is just the shirts that they tried on...
We could clothe a third world country (if it was full of little boys ages 3-8).
Yep, that is my latest and greatest excuse...I'm up to my arm pits in little boys clothes. :)

DAWN

I will post a real actual post soon.

Favorite Quote:

2008-09-07T23:38:00.005-04:00

Today I am stealing an idea from my friend Cindy and giving you my favorite quote of the year. It may actually be my favorite quote of the last 5 years (oh wait, let's see...the kids moved home 3 years ago so I guess it's my favorite quote of the last 3 years.).

"The days are long but the years are short."

2005

2008

This quote is felt in the depths of our hearts at our home.

2008-08-31T22:43:00.003-04:00

I just have a few things I wanted to share. A few random photos that touched me deeply.

This one of Superhero and Clown is so sweet to me. I was so tired of bending over and holding up his bike while he learned but he was so frustrated with not being able to ride his bike so Superhero took over and it is a cute photo that really is how he is with him. Superhero is very nurturing and sweet with Clown. He helps him through life.

I snapped this one of sunshine at the spray park the other day. It just symbolizes him to me. He is just so full of happiness and Joy most all of the time. This photo seems to capture a bit of that joy on his face.

And then there is this one of superhero. Is it just me or is he growing rapidly and getting cuter and cuter as he gets older. When he was little I always wondered how long his extreme cuteness would continue...I guess at least until age 8.

I am loving life today!

One Tough Cookie..

2008-08-25T20:09:00.001-04:00

See that kiddo there on the right? Looks big doesn't he?

He's not so big....

Neither is he...

Neither is he...

BUT, the one on the left....

Now that's a tough cookie.

Mommy disclaimer...ok, so I know all of those boys are someone's little boys and I mean them no harm. I am sure they are wonderful boys and are probably quite tough, but come on...my shorty child whipped up on those tall 2nd and 3rd graders!!!!! Can't blame a mom for bragging on her baby.

knock knock. Who's there? A mommy whose tired of laughing at dumb jokes!

2008-08-24T21:27:00.004-04:00

Do your kids tell you knock knock jokes too?

It's so interesting to see the phases of knock knock jokes in our house.

Superhero is now telling them and making them up and, though they are often those classic jokes that we all heard as kids growing up, some of them are actually quite funny. He has me laughing often.

Soldier is mostly repeating the jokes of others but he knows what is funny and what is not funny.

Princess tries really hard but wants to make up her own jokes so she takes three different ones she has heard other people get laughs from and puts them together. For example:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo Who?
Aren't you glad I didn't say pizza?

Clown just tries to be so silly and say as many funny words as he can to get you to laugh. For example:
Knock Knock.
Whose there?
Poopy clown with a chair with spagetti and a nose and a booger.
He follows that up with laughing himself so loud that you know for sure that was the punch line.

And then there is Sunshine who has one joke, and one joke only. He says it all himself leaving no time for you to say your "lines".
Knock Knock.
Whose there?
Pizza! (this is followed with much of his own laughter echoing through the otherwise silent crowd that has gathered from near and far to hear his "joke".)

So, am I the only one out there that while I know it's cute and all that I am TIRED OF LAUGHING AT THE SAME OLD INCREDIBLY STUPID JOKES?

Someone please tell me when the knock knock "jokes" of sunshine will be make me laugh as much as the jokes of superhero.

Pasting on a smile is not my best attribute.

My aching legs!!!

2008-08-19T00:36:00.003-04:00

I met a new man today (nah, I guess I met a BOY today). T.J., J.R., T.R., R.J. something like that but we will just call him "The Torturer".

I'm in a trial period at a Gym I am thinking about joining. I have put on some weight lately and have tried to drop it on my own but I just don't stick with it so I am on the lookout for a personal trainer.

Cue the music from jaws....

Enter "The Torturer"

About half a minute into the workout that we will herein call "hell on earth" I was thinking, "I bet I can do it on my own." Because when I do it on my own I STOP WHEN HURTS!!! :)

The torturer does not believe in stopping when it hurts and when you say you don't think you can do one more he says, "then do 2 more"...and means it! So, after lunges, squats, and some other ancient torture maneuvers I have no name for I literally was about to fall down.

Now I mean to tell you that I am not normally a wimp but today I was!!!

I was thinking of peeing my pants just to get out of the workout. THAT IS NO JOKE!

After I got home I fell down my stairs twice because my muscles were more like rubber bands than muscles.

After my husband got home from GOLF (his own workout program) we went to a baseball game with his coworkers where we sat a few rows from the front which means...yep, I got to go down stairs with an audience that knows me! I did not fall but I did grab onto my son's HEAD for balance once. If it were not for his blond little head and strong back I would have fallen on my face. :)

So, will "the torturer" see me at our next appointment on Wednesday?

YOU BETCHA...

Why you ask...because he guaranteed he will get me in shape quick and I gotta say that I kinda believe him. He will do it or he will kill me trying and in heaven we get a new body right.

Gotta go rest my rubber band legs!

Oh yeah, and as for the God Nudge there...pretty obvious isn't it...It's not always easy to do what God asks. It sometimes makes us TIRED and we FALL ON OUR FACES and have to LEAN ON OTHERS in ways that may cause them some discomfort. BUT, pushing through the pain and getting it done is going to leave us in a better place than when we started.

One last note...I am just sure my scale is stuck because I know I worked out hard enough to loose a few but it's still reading the same...HUMMMMM.

Giving Piggyback Rides to Molasses

2008-08-14T09:04:00.001-04:00

Ok, so is this the cutest photo ever or what?
When we went go places where we are in crowds we always pair up our 4 oldest kiddos into "buddies" so when we went to the Zoo we paired soldier up with princess. It's a good pairing most of the time because Princess will do whatever soldier says without question most of the time and soldier is usually pretty good with her (and her ONLY) about not "Over-Bossing" her.

They do great most of the time but this particular day there was one thing about Princess that he found unbearable and that she could not simply DO for him. The child is S------L------O--------W! Her daddy has affectionately nicknamed her Molasses...yes, she's that slow. Her slowness was getting in the way of Soldier's need to be first to everything so he decided it was just easier to carry her. This is not a Joke people...he carried her through nearly the entire zoo from animal to animal and if you asked him why he would say, "it's just easier than waiting for her all the time."

Hummm.....

And GOD NUDGES!!!!!

This summer has been an incredibly hard summer for me as far as emotional toll. My husband and I have watched our kids get poked and prodded, scanned and tested. We have walked the halls of hospitals, offices and clinics and been both scared to death and as thankful as could be that our children are only visiting the hospital. We have spoken to therapists and councilers, neurologists, surgeons and endocrinologists. We have met with administrators and dentists and eye doctors, pediatricians, etc... etc...

I have done things that this summer I did not think I could...things like sit by while my sons had blood drawn and IVs put in. (I HATE NEEDLES PEOPLE!), things like actually entering a MRI machine with my child while he screamed with fear at the unknown, things like watching my boy be wheeled down the hall to surgery. I have been scared speechless by the words of doctors and the perceived meaning behind their facial expressions.

I have done it...

But I have not done it alone. My husband and I have had many supporters along the way...my mom who came to stay, my sister and brother in law, my husband's brother and sister in law, our neighbors, our friends near and far.

But we also had a "Buddy" there the whole time. Our heavenly father...the one who "sticks closer than a brother".

As I look to the future there is a real possibility we will be asked to do things we are not any more capable of than princess is of getting from point A to point B before any other member of the family. And when that time comes I am sure we will feel God step around in front of us, bend at the knees, and say, "HOP ON".

What a mighty God we serve...a God who gives piggyback rides to Molasses!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!!

2008-08-11T23:47:00.003-04:00

Precious Jewel you glow, you shine, reflecting all the good things in this life. I never knew how well that verse would suit you as I hung it in your bedroom. Now I see just how true it is. Enjoy the life you have been given. It's been a long road but it's a good life you've been given. Keep reflecting the best in life to those around you! You TRULY SPARKLE of God's GOODNESS and His LOVE for his children.

Happy Birthday!

Gonna Fall

2008-08-10T16:20:00.002-04:00

I don't know now when I got my first clue that Sunshine was going to be more "into things" than his siblings but it was early on in his little life.

It might have been the day he was found laying by the pantry door chewing on a potato.

Maybe it was the day he pulled all the straws out of the straw container.

I know I had a clue before the day he poured all his sister's hair bows into the toilet.

I was definately up to speed on the extra energy it was taking to raise him by the time he got up in the middle of the night to eat 1/2 a peach pie his dad had bought.

I am sure that I was aware he would require more of my energy before the day he dumped out a box of baking soda and a box of epsom salts into my sink.

By the time he had spread the toothpaste on the counter I was well aware of his spunky antics.

And the day he filled the milk container with popcorn kernels, spoons, and twisty ties (yes, it had milk in it still) it came as no surprise.

HOWEVER, the other day when he came up to me and said, "Mommy, some time soon the cough drops are gonna fall down." I was actually surprised. Oh, it didn't surprise me that he said it...it surprised me when I walked into my bedroom and found he had pulled my vanity chair over in front of the dresser and placed a plastic child's chair on top of it in an obvious atempt to reach a package of cough drops perched on the edge of our dresser. If he were able to gain just another inch of reach He would certianly be able to make them "fall" to the ground.

I cracked up as I moved the chairs back where they belong and put the cough drops back in the tub where they go.

THANKS FOR THE WARNING SUNSHINE!!

AFTERTASTE

2008-08-05T22:28:00.002-04:00

You all know what aftertaste is...that crazy lingering taste that drives you nuts after you take a bite or a drink of something. It just stays there in your mouth as a reminder of the item you just tasted...but it does not really taste like the thing you just tasted. I personally hate aftertaste. Even when the drink or food item I just had was very good it keeps me from enjoying more of it.
There is a time in my life that has aftertaste to it. It was a great time in life and yet it has left an aftertaste that keeps me from even enjoying looking at photos of that time. It is not too often that I don't like to look at photos...I am normally quite a fan.
The time I am speaking of is the year and a half during which we were foster parents of our 4 kids that are now adopted. It was an unsure time, a time when we lived with underlying fear...fear that thy would be taken away from us.
But there was also so much joy that year. It was the year we got to know our kids and the year we found what living life was truly all about. It was the year that our children started their path to healing and the year they were introduced to what the love of a mommy and daddy is truly all about.
It was a great time but a time full of fear and unknown that was hard to deal with. It's a fear that literally can not be described and unless you have endured it you can not know what it is like.
But it's time for me to get over that aftertaste. I want to share some of them with you. It is not that these photos don't bring joy...as you will see there is no way that you could look at them and not smile.
So, let's take a gander at these photos together and have a moment of thankfulness that the bittersweet is OVER and that we can fully enjoy the SWEET now. :)

Here are Soldier and Superhero sleeping soundly. We loved that he was able to sleep soundly in our house.

This is a day that the boys put on a show for us.

Now you see why she is called our PRINCESS.

Isn't he cute? :)

Now that's a cute face...dirty or not!

Here is Stan holding my sunshine when he's only a few months old. HE loved to be held and just lay there in your arms...now he doesn't sit still.

Here he is on a day that still can make me cry. He was laying on Superhero's floor while he was cleaning his room. He was cleaning because the caseworker was coming to visit our house and I told him we wanted the house to be clean for her. As he was cleaning he turned to me and asked, "Mommy, if I clean the house good enough will the lady say that we can keep our baby?". Tears still flow to think of that time...he wanted so desperately to keep our baby that he was busy as a bee cleaning so that he could get his brother to live with us forever. Poor little guy.

This is the day we were sitting in the yard and I realized that 5 kids no longer felt like 500 kids.

This was a day I was dreaming of them being ours. I took about a million photos of the kids just soaking them up.

Times like these I would hold him close and thank God that I had him for this moment. Never knowing what tomorrow would bring but soaking up today. It's what a foster parent clings to.

Here is CLOWN when he first played with SUNSHINE. Isn't he the cutest little tiny thing? With a smile that lights up his whole face.

Here is CLOWN riding the mower. Now I know that you are not suppose to put kids on the mower so don't bug me about it. :) :) There are some things that they just love so much that you give in.
Here are threee of the kids playing their grandma's piano.

Here is PRINCESS. Her hair was so short that we would put it in ponytails and she would choose how many she wanted. this was a 5 ponytail day. :) Isn't she adorable!!!!

This is a day we took the kids to ride horses. It was a wonderful day and one that we will cherish forever.

Adorable again....really. I love her in this orange color.

So, there are some of the wonderful photos of our incredible kiddos at a time that leaves a bit of aftertaste.

THE SUNSHINE DOES CRY

2008-07-29T23:06:00.001-04:00

Why do I post a photo of my son crying....
Well, I guess because he does it so rarely that it's noteworthy.
AND BECAUSE HE'S STILL SO DARN CUTE EVEN WHEN HE'S CRYING!!!

How does he do it?

4th of July report...a bit late!

2008-07-28T23:40:00.000-04:00

Every year we try to go to my parent's house for the 4th of July. We play in their beautiful backyard where mom's flowers are beautiful, the games of baseball are fierce, and the old tractor tire ruins their clothes and marks up their faces...:)

After we hang out there for a while we pack up and head to the park. My parents still live in the small town where they raised us and where my husband and I lived for 5 years. The town has a big celebration in the park that I love to go to. The kids play blow up games where they beat each other up ,
race one another and challenge each other. We play on the basketball court and at the horseshoe pit. We stuff ourselves full of lemon shake ups, funnel cakes and vinegar fries.

Each year I see people that I don't see any other time of the year. There are family friends there every year and other people that we went to church with growing up and during my husband's time of ministry there.

One of my favorite things is when I see my old students at the park. I opened and was the director of a child care center while we lived there so there are literally hundreds of kids running around there who came through the program during my time there. I love it. This is one of my special students I was blessed enough to see this year at the park. She was the little stinker that cut her friend's hair and then just kept repeating to me, "I did not cut MY hair". I love that when I see her she still knows me and remembers that story. It makes my heart SING!!

After a summer like I have had so far this summer (let's just say I am pretty sure I've aged 10 years this summer) it was so nice to sit and watch the fireworks with family and friends surrounding me, my husband and my children. We always sit so close that we feel the shrapnel hitting us when the wind blows. :) (my family is full of pyromaniacs) It's how we have always done it and I imagine it's how we always will.

When I took this photo I was amazed at how the image touched me.
The words came "it's all good."
Life is a grand thing.
It's not always perfect but there are those moments when you just have to whisper to yourself, "PERFECT!"

And, I wonder...
when is it that God looks down on you and I and whispers, "PERFECT"...
despite our sins and imperfections.
I don't know but I am gonna think on it and you should too.
I am sure there are many times that he whispers "PERFECT" at you.

Hey Kari, I just pictured your daughter saying "perfect" as she sat down naked in her homemade "pool". :)

Getting Big

2008-07-28T21:00:00.001-04:00

Is it as sad for anyone else out there when their baby learns to touch in the big pool?
Of course, this picture makes it look like he is drowning but really he just likes dunking his head under the water so much that I could not catch a picture of him with his head out of the water. But REALLY, he can now touch in the 3 foot pool....
My baby is growing up and I don't like it at all...well, I guess I like it a little....but not much! :)

my little pets

2008-07-23T03:13:00.001-04:00

On our recent vacation we visited the zoo and found some of our kiddos long lost relatives...

This sign says "Mommy's Baby Girl"

And this sign reads "Somali Wild Ass".

ENOUGH SAID!!!

My Soldier

2008-07-22T01:50:00.007-04:00

My soldier is now 8. Can you believe it? I can not!
So, here is a little post about My Solider and some of my favorite memories of him.

This is him on the day after we met him. He is playing with a turtle we found and the kids named Tiny Tim. Isn't he cute?!?!?!?!?!?

Another thing about him is that LAUGH! I love to hear his laugh. My Superhero says it is so easy to make him laugh that all he has to do is say, "POOP"...he's right. :)

One of my favorite memories of all time happened the night this photo was taken. This day we went and cut down our Christmas tree, decorated it, listened to Christmas music, made peppermint floats and generally had a wonderful day together. As I sat up late that night I heard little feet coming upstairs and then saw him come and sit at the foot of the tree and say, "I'm finally home for Christmas." I sat silently in the other room and cried as I watched his wide eyed wonder. It's a phrase that says it all...FINALLY HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

Here is one of the other things that will always stick in my mind. It seems odd but I remember how long it took for him to learn to put on his socks. He kept putting them on upside down. It was a hard long road but it is one of my memories...and believe it or not I smile when I think of it...not too sure he smiles about it when he thinks about it (we are talking a year long process people).

Here is my little soldier eating his favorite dish of spaghetti. The child can eat more spaghetti than his daddy.

He really has the most touching things to say and this is the day that he said one of them. He had been having nightmares and sleep disturbances so we put a baby monitor down in his bedroom so we could hear him immediately if he needed us. The day of his adoption I woke up to him singing, "Today is a happy day. Today is a happy day. I'm gonna get adopted." I unplugged the monitor and ran it to my husband in the shower and had him listen. By the time I got it in to him My Soldier had switched to a new song: "I didn't pee my pants last night." :) MAN I LOVE THIS CHILD!!!

This is a picture I snapped of my two oldest sons one morning before school when My Soldier came upstairs complaining that his pants were too long. He shared a bedroom with his brother and I would hang their clothes out on hooks for them to put on in the morning. This day he obviously got his brother's clothes and as I went downstairs to help him get his own clothes I found his brother in this outfit that is obviously too small for him...they had gotten each other's clothes on!!

This is a photo of another memory that I LOVE. The two big boys were going to cut a Christmas tree down with daddy and I got them all bundled up and handed them each a thermos of apple cider. As I bent down to tie up his scarf before he walked out the door he looked up at me with those giant eyes and said, "Now I am like one of those boys who has EVERYTHING!". A coat to match his brother, a hat and scarf, apple cider, a daddy who loves him, a mommy who loves him, his siblings around him...YEAH, he's got EVERYTHING and so do we.

So, my little boy is 8!!! It's been a wild ride but man, oh man, it's been a sweet one.
Happy birthday E. I love you!!

As They Walk Away

2008-07-17T02:08:00.001-04:00

This week we are at my husband's parent's house with all his siblings and their children. These are some of my favorite people and I would choose them for family again and again if I had the chance. We have spent the week preparing for a wedding, playing Wii games until we are sweating and near exhaustion, planning a family vacation for next summer, laughing till we have headaches, and simply being together.
Today we watched one of my all time favorite family videos of my hubby's brother doing a line dance in grade school to "achy breaky heart". It cracked me up...and everyone else in the room. He is so cute dancing and laughing and trying his darnedest to get it all just right.
For a moment I got so caught up in the video that when I looked up and saw him sitting there as a grown man it took me a minute to catch up with reality. It was just yesterday wasn't it that I was following his bus to his first basketball game? I am pretty sure I can still hear his voice calling out, "Hey Dawn, wanna come see the go cart I made?" And I am positive that It was no more that a moment ago that he cried beside the burn barrel for the death of his sister's cat.

Then I blinked and here we are sitting around the living room all married with 8 kids between us. Some would say we are grown up (they would say this if, and only if, they had not seen the taunting and name calling going on during the Wii games).

THEN IT HIT ME...it won't be too long before I will be saying the same thing about my own children. They all seem so big this summer and the stark reality that they are growing up has hit me hard. Just today my soldier turned 8!!!! (It's been a hard day for this mama.)
But never did it hit so HARD as when I opened the computer and this photo was staring back at me. I had put this photo in a post to work on later a while ago and wanted a title that would remind me what photo was in the post so I quickly threw in this title "AS THEY WALK AWAY".
It hit like a ton of bricks.
A picture of my babies today from the back...walking away symbolized all too clearly what is happening in reality. As they grow and mature they are walking away...becoming their own people, learning to live beyond the walls Stan and I provide for them. They are growing and we are literally training them to one day leave us.
DEEP BREATH....

IS THE ROOM SPINNING OR AM I WEAK FROM A MEAN GAME OF Wii BOXING?

BREATH IN....

BREATH OUT......

I want them to grow up. I want them to come into their own. I want them to go change the world. I want them to flourish.....and the reality is that they can not do that under our roof.
So, what do I do with it...
I guess I do as the husband of my dear friend says and learn to celebrate the moments...even the little ones.
I guess I do my darnedest to bring them up so that years from now they are sitting in my living room discussing ways to be sure that they remain united as they recover from a mean round of Wii boxing.
And I pray that this photo is a reflection of how they really will live out their lives...walking away from our nest of safety but walking hand in hand.

(Thanks Jim, for raising a great group of kids that make me laugh so hard I have to stop Wii boxing from the laughing headache. I know it's been a long hard road but I, for one, think the end product is MARVELOUS!!
And Thanks to you MOM and DAD for loving me and teaching me so that I could one day go out on my own and live this wild ride of a life I am on. I LOVE YOU!)

OK, do you see it?

2008-07-14T23:16:00.002-04:00

Ok, people, I gotta have responses on this post. Due to my new stat counter I know that there are many more of you on here than choose to reveal yourselves...but this time I need you. I have been trying to get my new layout finished and back in order. BUT it depends on what computer I look at my blog on as to whether or not I see the extra photos and what-nots on my blog alongside the posts on the right side of the screen or if I have to scroll down to the bottom after the posts to see them. So, I have tinked around with it and think I have it now but I need to know if you see them or not. So, anyone out there not see the extras on the right side of the screen? Speak now or forever hold your peas. :)

A new Abuse...

2008-07-12T14:05:00.000-04:00

OK, here it is...the post where I come clean.

I left a mark on my child the other day.

(Don't write me off...Keep reading....it gets better)

So, there we are at the 4th of July celebration in my hometown with friends and family gathered around when My Clown comes up to me with one of those "ouchies" on his eye. You know the kind that doesn't really hurt but requires a bit of sympathy. So, I asked to see his eye and then I did what I often do with those little "ouchies". I kissed it. But, not just any kiss, it was one of those kisses where you are sucking in more to make a loud obnoxious kissing sound than to actually kiss. As a youngster it is the way I would kiss the back of my hand to tease my brother when he was one the phone with a GIRL.

So, I kissed him and then sent him laughing away. When he turned around to look at me as he walked off I noticed a big mark under his eye and thought maybe I had not taken the "ouchie" as seriously as I should. Upon further investigation I discovered that I HAD LEFT THAT MARK ON HIM WITH A MOST POWERFUL KISS.

Good thing there were witnesses because for the next few days whenever anyone asked what happened to him he said, "My mom did it". :)

Here is what I thought about it later: I wonder how many things I do flippantly during the course of the day that leave lasting marks on his little heart. Things I don't even think about: hugs given, words said, actions taken on left undone. Some leaving good memories and some being the things he will share with his therapist one of these days. There are many things My husband I do with the hope that it will mold our children. But what about the things that we do flippantly without a thought. Words said, attitudes given off, actions they observe...all with the power to mold our children both negatively and positively.

For a few days as that mark wore off of My Clown it was a good visual reminder that things I do and say can mark up my child.

My prayer, may my unintentional words and actions leave marks of love on his little heart.

Happy KISSING!!

A FEW FIRSTS

2008-07-10T23:57:00.003-04:00

So, here are a few firsts for me...
This is the first post you will see of mine with a fancy new signature. If you don't know my friend over at His Girl you have to go over there and see her....she is awesome and she is responsible for my new signature. She is having a little tutoring session for us newbies on blogger who don't know how to do things like this. Thanks His Girl.
Of course you will notice if you have visited here before that there has been a total makeover on my blog. I am OK with it but I gotta tell you that I was so excited about my new signature that I got a bit over-zealous and thought I knew a bit too much and OOPS...all the sudden my entire blog was changed and lots of my stuff was erased (not posts but about everything else). So, let that be a lesson to me...I am not computer savvy like my buddy His Girl nor should I start to think I am. So, His Girl, keep the lessons coming and I promise to take it only one baby step at a time!! Promise, Promise, Hope to Die, Stick a Needle in My Eye (that's a SERIOUS Promise)!
My other first is that I, for the first time, had a "bloggy date". I met a new friend who has just moved to the area. I had a comment from Kara at Me Moddy that she had seen my blog linked on her friend Natalie's blog and had come to visit and discovered that we were in the same state. Turns out that we live pretty close to each other. So, we met at the mall with kiddos in tow and had a great time. Thanks Natalie! :)
And there you have it...my new signature, my new friend and my new mistake that I choose NOT TO REPEAT!
Lots of Love

our clown

2008-07-08T22:53:00.000-04:00

It seems to me that over the years God has made a few little tykes who both try our patience and fill our lives with a whole lot of laughter and love.
Our clown is one of those boys.
Never has there been a child who can take NOTHING and make it so hilarious.
He needs no gag book, no Billy Bob teeth, no Joke taught to him by his brothers.
He needs no help and no props in order to have you laughing out loud.
How many little boys do we know who decide that chasing the runners in the ballgame is more fun than playing outfield?...ONE
How many boys do we know who can tell you the joke "knock, knock. who's there? moonface. moonface who? orange buffalo." and actually make it funny with their expressions...ONE.
How many boys do we know that are always the first on the scene of a household ouchie offering comfort and a kiss (unless, of course, HE DID IT)...ONE.
How many little boys do we know that can take a pair of pants and make the whole family laugh so hard we nearly pee...ONE....OUR CLOWN.
WE LOVE OUR LITTLE CLOWN!

Sorry....I forgot to flip the photo so you get to cram you neck to the right for this one. :)

Shout Out To My Homepiece...

2008-07-07T09:03:00.003-04:00

Several years ago in a land far far away my husband and I were blessed to live in a small town and do life with some incredible people. While there I discovered a lady that would turn out to be a truly great friend....you know the kind that is always available when you need her and who you stand and marvel at her talent to do all the things she does so well with both professionalism and Heart. OK, so imagine my surprise when my talented and lovely friend decided to start a blog and not tell anyone!!!! So, here I am outing her. So go on over HERE and check her site out. If you go quick her most recent post is a God Nudge she got through her son...so sweet.

Our LIttle Sunshine

2008-07-01T23:30:00.000-04:00

He may not look just like us....
He may not have his Daddy's dark curly hair.
He may not have his Daddy's skin tone or eye color.
He may not have his Daddy's walk or foot shape.

But he has his Daddy's friendly nature.
He has his Daddy's love for the outdoors.
He has his Daddy's heart for Jesus.

He may not have his Mommy's eyes or nose.
He may not have his Mommy's dimples.
He may not have his Mommy's face shape.
But He has his Mommy's zest for life.
He has his Mommy's love of candy.
He has his Mommy's need for simplicity.

He may not look exactly like us or get his genetic makeup from us.
He may not have our smile, features, or medical history...

BUT THE CHILD HAS OUR HEARTS....ALL OF THEM FOR ALL TIME!

Pieces and Parts

2008-06-29T22:25:00.001-04:00

I love the pieces and parts of my children. Photos like this fill up most of my memory cards...just little pieces of them. I love their necks especially and could truly kiss their little necks all day. They are just cute as could be and this vacation I loved seeing them speckled with grains of sand. I have always loved the pieces and parts of my kids but this Christmas I got a new take on their pieces and parts and my love of them. I have this puzzle my mom and dad had made when my siblings and I were little. Still to this day love to put together that puzzle. (oops I guess I just admitted to my parents that I stole the puzzle years ago...really, it's usually Kelly that steals the family stuff I SWEAR!!!) Anyway, this Christmas I decided to start a tradition for my own kids that we make their Christmas photo into a puzzle for them to put together on Christmas eve. This Christmas as we sat and put their puzzle together I realized just how well I know my kids pieces and parts. We have 5 kids who are all within 4 years of each other and not only are their pieces and parts all about the same size but 3 of the 5 of the kids look nearly identical to each other. So, as we were putting the puzzle together the kids kept asking, "Is this my ____? Mom do you know whose neck this is?, etc..." Amazingly enough I knew them all. Even when not attached to the other parts of their body I KNEW EACH LITTLE PART OF MY KIDS! I knew sunshine's chubby arm from soldier's muscular one. I knew the bridge of Princess's nose from the bridge of clown's nose (two noses that, to most, look identical). I knew Superhero's skinny nape of the neck from the rest of theirs. I found that it was not even hard for me to identify each and every nook and cranny of my babies. (well, the parts of them that are revealed in their Christmas photo anyway). It meant so much to me for some reason and it gave me another God Nudge to reflect on about how much love our father has for us. I love my kids so much that I can't stop looking at them and memorizing them...down to the inside of their elbows.
But, MY GOD KNOWS THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON MY HEAD!! He must spend a whole lot of time looking at me (maybe he knows the number of hairs on my head because he is up in heaven looking down at me and gets a full view of my head all day.....I crack myself up.)
How great is the father's love for me?
As Clown would say, "So, so, so, so, so, so, so much".

The Way We Roll:

2008-06-26T22:54:00.000-04:00

Many people ask me what it's like to travel with 5 kids. So, I thought it would be fun to show you. It looks like this but a lot LOUDER! :) Each of our kids have their own car seat , a cubbie to keep their travel goodies in, a sippy cup of water, a bowl with a lid for snacks, and towel or blanket attached to their seat with a big rubber band so it will stay put as a pillow or can be unattached easily and used as a little blanket. We have an oh so lovely DVD player that entertains 3 of our 5 and a video game that plugs into the DVD player that they are all enamored with. We keep snacks, tissues, Wipes, papertowels, trash sacks, a first aid kit and an array of other misc. items between the seats in the front for JUST IN CASE. It's an organization that we NEED and so far it's made family trips do-able for us. If any of you have travel tips I would love to hear them...we can always use more.

Truth Or Dare

2008-06-24T21:10:00.003-04:00

A long time ago I took SUPERHERO out for a treat at Steak and Shake. He and I love to get their blueberry cobbler a la mode and share it. So, we went to do that and somehow decided to play truth or dare right there in the resturant. It ended up being mostly Dare and we were laughing so much that we almost peed our pants. We had the time of our lives.
So, tonight we were sitting at the supper table and Superhero looked at me and said, "Truth or Dare". We both started laughing and then I said Truth and had to admit that Yes, I had danced with a boy that was not daddy before. It got a big laugh. :) We had a great time playing it laughing with the family around the table. Daddy had to drink a mixture of orange juice and milk and had to tell the deep dark truth that he had indeed sat on a diaper and had a drink at some point in his life (some of us are better at asking "truths" than others). Superhero had to go outside and yell, "I love my mom so much" and go hug a mailbox and say, "I just love mail". Soldier had to go to the neighbor's flowers and say, "flowers are a girl's best friend" in a girl voice and later had to lick the neighbor's house. Princess had to tell that she had indeed done something naughty and blamed it on her brother before. And I had to go over to the neighbor's front porch and stand under his colts football flag and yell, "Colts ROCK!". Those are only a few of the truths and dares we experienced tonight. Once again we were laughing so hard!!!
I tell you all this for two reasons...
#1 to encourage you to play truth and dare with your kids ("Juice and Bear" as CLOWN calls it). Not only is it fun but I actually found out some things about my kids through the TRUTH questions that I did not know (the kind of inner things I can't share on here...good stuff).
#2 because I am running out of things to dare them to do so if you have great dare ideas I want to hear them.
Happy Truth and Daring to you!!!

What is it about waves...

2008-06-21T23:21:00.000-04:00

This is my SUNSHINE on a pier at Daytona Beach. We stopped and ate on the pier at this little resturant...the fun kind where shoes and shirts are optional and skin cancer is cool. :)

Sunshine is normally my active, can't sit still kiddo. However, for about 15 minutes he sat on the floor with his face pressed to the boards of the pier and stared at the waves. A calm came over him that I rarely see as he simply laid there and stared at the waves crashing into the shore and then retreating. I watched him and thought, "Is it possible for me to install a wave pool in our basement and install plank flooring in the first floor so he will do this at home?".

Ok, so that was my first thought but I quickly shifted to marveling at how very relaxed and happy he was in that moment. I too am a busy person...not filled with as much physical energy as he is by any means but simply lacking the ability to simply sit and be. But waves have the same affect on me. I can sit and watch the ocean for hours and not get bored. Better yet, I could float in the ocean on the waves, salty water and all, till the ocean itself dried up.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT WAVES?

This weekend at a church we visited the pastor talked about how we just need a drink of Jesus, the living water, and how we fill up our lives with junk because we are searching for HIM but don't know it. Maybe there is a longing in my baby and myself simply for more of the living water.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT WAVES?

Is it their simple complexity? Maybe the waves speak to our souls in a way that calls out His beautiful complexity and simplicity all at the same time. The ocean is one thing but is a million things to look at. God is one and yet a million different facets.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT WAVES?

Is it their amazing power that reminds my soul of how the creator of those waves is so many times more powerful than they are and that the maker of the actual waves can more than handle the figurative waves in my life?

WHAT IS IT? I don't know but I know they calm my soul and I am thankful for that. And I am blessed to share that same love of waves with my sunshine.

What fun to simply ponder life and how all of creation reflects God.

The very waves cry out His splendor.

So Fragile

2008-06-19T20:00:00.000-04:00

Before you freak out EVERYONE IS OK!!

This is my sunshine in the hospital where he had a sleep study. Noone was injured and though it looks life threatning it was not.

I have mentioned before that we believe he has some attention issues. Well, the doctor agrees and is sending him to some specialists to see if we can help him focus better in some less traditional ways. The first thing we are looking into is by making sure he is sleeping well. So, we geared up and headed to the hospital. He did a great job but it was a rough night.

I sat and watched my baby boy sleep all hooked up to monitors, with things beeping all around and people watching and analyzing his every move...every breath. As I sat there near tears for him I felt God Nudge.

The next few months in the life of our family are filled with specialists, doctors, surgery and therapy. I have been pretty down in the mouth about it and it's been affecting my spirit. I have just been overwhelmed by it all. But as I sat there staring at my baby and feeling overwhelmed by it all I felt God Nudge. It was a reminder of how fragile life can be. At that moment God did not so much whisper as a nurturing father but rather he called me out as a high school coach does to their players. God blew his whistle at me and said, "What are you crying about...get up and dust yourself off and get back in the game. You are wasting time sitting there on the ground whining. Let's get this show on the road. I need you in the game." I was instantly reminded of how great my life is and humbled with the thought that my child is the lucky one. He was not hooked up to those machines because his life depends on it. His quality of life maybe...but not his very life. There are so many parents out there who sleep by their childrens hospital beds night after night clinging to each breath. Yet I am feeling overwhelmed trying to work through what is comparitively a very small issue. Life is such a precious gift that I take forgranted so often.

My perspective can sometimes be:
-5 kids
-special needs
-recently uprooted from HOME
-miss my friends
-busy life
-therapy
-dirty house
-tired mommy

But the reality of it is:
-5 amazing kids who are in great shape for all they have been through
-a wonderful husband who loves me VERY MUCH
-kids who have been blessed beyond measure
-kids who bless us beyone measure
-new wonderful home in an incredible neighborhood with amazing neighbors
-I still live close to my good friends and get to make new friends here at my new home
-Blessed by great resources like therapists and specialists that many don't have

And, to make it even sweeter, I don't even have to do anything....God will do it all. I just have to be awake and ready to run the plays He lines out.

GAME ON....Let's PLAY BALL!!!

Skunks and Soccer Balls

2008-05-27T18:29:00.000-04:00

Although I never greatly excelled in one area I have had my share of awards through the years. I have a shelf's worth of trophies and ribbons from my teenage track/cross country days, some badminton trophies, a few certificates for writing and art, a blue ribbon for a piece of pottery I made, a few medals from choir contests, a record breaker t-shirt from high school track, flower petals from my college queen nomination, and a few other trinkets stuck away in a big box of memories.

In my adult years I have had a few things I consider awards as well...a few trinkets from speaking engagements, some nice letters from people recognizing my efforts for different causes. I have things I am proud of and things that I believe I have done a good job on that give me that rush of pride now and again when I think of them....(no famous people asking me to sing backup for them though...check out this blog.

But two of the best rewards came recently in the form of a SKUNK and a SOCCER BALL. My son came home with a stuffed skunk he won for having the "best manners" in the lunchroom for the week and then about two weeks later he came home with a soccer ball he got for winning the healthy eating poster contest.

SO PROUD....I gotta go clean out the trophy case and get it ready for the skunk and soccer ball.

A couple of Goofballs!

2008-05-24T23:50:00.001-04:00

Just found this on my hubby's computer and thought I would share. It's my handsome prince and my oldest son (Soldier) goofing around on the Mac. :) Aren't they a handsome pair?

Keepers

2008-05-22T11:47:00.000-04:00

I stumbled across this quote the other day and loved it.

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful and believe to be beautiful".

I love that quote. I am a big "simplify life" person. However, I have found a few things laying around the house here that don't meet that criteria.

FOR EXAMPLE:

A Little Boy who cries at NOTHING...Yes, NOTHING. Here we are in the Dr. office and he is mad because he discovered I dressed him and his brother in matching outfits. However, he NORMALLY loves to dress like him. :)

Little Boys that pick their noses:

Sea Monkeys...not beautiful and definitely not useful.
So, Maybe I am not as good at the whole simplifying thing as some but I'd just like to see you try to pry any one of those things out of my hands. :)

Ok, maybe I can let you have the sea monkeys..but one of those little nose pickers would be devastated!

Never Bet a 7 year old $5

2008-04-28T21:10:00.001-04:00

Ok, so a parenting lesson I learned this month was never bet a 7 year old $5 to do anything...they will do it!!!
Even if it means stuffing an entire bubble gum egg in their mouth and chewing it all at once.

I'm telling you people...this was shaped like an egg but bigger than a real egg and SOLID BUBBLE GUM.

The child is amazing...and I am broke!

American Idol...Killebrew Style

2008-04-24T23:37:00.005-04:00

Now that Soldier, Princess and Superhero are getting a bit older they have decided that they are too big for their old cartoons and are now looking for shows that are more "grown up" to watch. I have been lazy and have not screened things that they want to watch like "The Sweet Life of Zach and Cody", "Hannah Montana" and other things they are asking for. I have, However, been letting then watch American Idol and let me say that WE ARE LOVING IT! They are totally into it.
I have also been trying to do more family time arts and crafts with the kids lately. SO, we combined the two and here is the result.

Our American Idols Take The Stage:Yes, We actually made IDOLS out of the Idols....(is that is immoral???)

So, this week we said goodbye to Carly (Clown and I made this one...he did the tatoos, head and skirt)...we are sad.
But not as sad as Princess was to say goodbye to sparkly Kristy Lee Cook. She was her favorite as well as the figure she made...complete with sparkles and all.
Next week will we finally get to say goodbye to Syesha. Clown and I made this one (mostly me this time) but I am ready for her to be off my screen as is the rest of the family.

Maybe we will have to remove the lovely Brooke from the stage next week...though daddy hopes not...he likes her.

Soldier and I hope we won't have to get rid of my favorite and the figure that he worked so hard on...Mr. Jason Castro...what a laid back kiddo with a great voice.

We are pretty sure that Superhero's creation of David Archeletta will remain on the stage for several more weeks if not till the very end. We all love him but Superhero has loved him from day one and still stays true. And, I must add that he made this whole thing by himself. What a kid...yes, the WHOLE THING:

Daddy and I are huge fans of David Cook too. He likes to call this figure that he made "Gumby". We are proud of David Cook both on stage and in playdough form and the kids were thrilled to have daddy join in on this part of the fun!!! He's a great daddy!
Needless to say we are having a lot of fun with the american idol show this year.

This mommy much prefers this to mindless viewings of Zach, Cody and Hannah! :)

KILLEBREW OUT!

Our little artist

2008-04-24T00:26:00.001-04:00

Ok, so our little sunshine was up early the other day and I was tired so I had him crawl into bed with me. This nearly always means that he will get into mischief when I am not looking and when I crawl out of bed I will find a number of things broken, dumped out, in the toilet, smeared into the carpet, written on with sharpie markers, eaten, etc... This particular day, however, I never had to wrangle him. I asked him to get up on my bed with me and turned on a show. Mind you he never watches any TV (by HIS choice, not mine) but I still turn it on and hope that I will find a show that will capture him for any amount of time. Anyway, he laid there with me for the whole time and was a total angel. I got to rest there for about 20 minutes. I drifted off for a few minutes but when I woke up he was right where he was when I drifted off sitting there by my leg playing with a little koosh ball. He is such a good little boy......

Maybe he just might have gotten up once during the time I drifted off.............

Wonder Woman I am NOT!

2008-04-22T00:16:00.003-04:00

Ok, so my site is messed up major...or maybe when I was sleeping the other day my son also came down and pressed a few buttons.
Anyway, I somehow posted the first draft of this yesterday and then happened to see it a few minutes ago and realized the mistake. HUMMMM...so, here is the amended version. In the first draft I had put in some lyrics from a favorite song of mine but I had not given the artist credit because I ended up taking it out...or thinking I did anyway. So, I added a player on the sidebar that should be playing that song for you right now. It's called THE REAL ME and is by Natalie Grant. It's on her album AWAKEN and it's fantastic. Anyway, here is the post as I intended it to be:

Yes, ladies (and a few gents who stumble on here once in a while): I HAVE BEEN WORKING OUT.
Ok, not quite.

I was messing around on www.faceinhole.com and came across where you could make yourself Wonder Woman. I have an interesting relationship with Wonder Woman. As a little girl I often played superheros with my big brother. Of course Wonder Woman was one I ended up portraying a lot (Hulk and Captian America were other of my favorites...I will have to post my analysis of that another time!). I remember wrapping tape around my wrists to fashion myself "wonder woman bracelets". As a child I loved her ability to hang with the guys. She was right there with them and saving them when they got in over their heads. Don't know why but that was COOL to me!

As an adult I look at her and marvel at her power and the strength. She holds her own all while being pretty and thin and with hair to die for. And I never see her mascara run...how does she do that? (I can only guess she must order her mascara from QVC because every time I see mascara on there the host applies it to the back of her hand and then runs her finger over it a few million times and it never budges....so it must be true.) Yes, there are many things I admire about superwoman. But SHE IS A FANTASY!!! (As is that Mascara---I discovered that one the hard way).

I wish I was wonderwoman but the older I get the more I realize that none of us are. WE are all pretty much the same. In a world where we try to stand out and be individuals all the time It's an odd thing to begin to realize that truly we are all about the same. We deal with and cover or uncover the pain in our hearts differently but we still all have pain. We digest and spew out saddness in different ways but we all experience saddness and don't like it. We may fight or flight when we are scared but we are all fearfull at some point. We are all the same. We love, laugh, cry, and yell in different tones and tunes but we all do it. We are all the same and none of us are Wonder Woman. None of us have the corner on the market of how to do life. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. There is none among us that can do it all well or who does it all wrong. We are all talented and we are all failures.

I have tried and tried to make others into wonder woman in my own mind but as I sit and chat with anyone face to face i begin to realize that we are all the same. We are none of us able to do it all well. We are all very gifted in some areas, mildly talented in some areas, not so great in other areas and pretty awful in other areas. And that is the beauty of humanity and the design of the Lord. Isn't it great that he made none of us great at everything and made none of us failures at everything....that way we have to depend on him and each other.

I for one am glad that I have all of you...my friends and family...to lean on, to hug on, to get wisdom and advice from and to occasionally be able to do the same for you. Isn't it great that God made us to need each other and isn't it great that I have such a great group of people to team up with to do life. I love you all!

If any of you know why my banner is across my son's face on my header please let me know what to do....HELP!!

As the great NAPOLEON DYNAMITE would say, "LUCKY"!!!

2008-04-14T20:49:00.005-04:00

This is the paper our Soldier (see sidebar) brought home from school.

It reads, "I am loke win I kikikdid my bruthr in the stumik I didn't hrt him."

If you need further translation that means, "I am lucky when I kicked my brother in the stomach it didn't hurt him".

Let me just say...He is lucky it did not hurt. If it had his brother would have definitely told on him (we're a bit surprised he did not tell anyway) and there would have been consequences.

TWO SPICY MEATBALLS

2008-04-13T01:11:00.002-04:00

Hey all, just wanted to send you to my friend's blogs. They are two people we have come to love over the last several months and I know you will enjoy their blogs. They are funny, beautiful (well, Heather is anyway!), passionate, and just plain REAL...you will find that reflected on their blogs. So, go HERE and HERE and say howdy.

My God Time Report

2008-04-12T11:35:00.002-04:00

Well, here it is, my long awaited post to report about my time with God. I know you were all waiting, holding your breath, loosing sleep, and crossing your fingers that this post would pop up...all two of you who read this. :)
I had my time with God the other day and it was really great. I took some time in the evening and got out of my house. I drove to a nearby parking lot, turned off the engine and sat wit God. There was a really drenching rain falling. A nice rain...the kind that would draw me and my journal to the window as a child. So, I sat and tried to meditate on God's love for me and listen to Him in that moment. I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed with the message I kept thinking I heard Him whispering. "My love is like the Rain". Hummm....seemed to me like I wanted so badly to hear a message of love from God that my brain was making things up for Him. :) Anyway, I thought about His love and all the ways the rain could be reflective of his love...It's powerful, it surrounds everything, it can sting and it can refresh. Then I just sat and tried to soak up His love for a while. It was nice and I felt refreshed.
After a while I headed to destination #2...the bookstore. I have some children who have some "special needs" and I was on a mission to get some books to read and learn more about their issues. I found one to purchase and wrote down the names of several others I would like to check out from the library or get on amazon. Then decided to sit at the store for a while and read my Bible. My Bible was on one leg and the list of books I had just jotted down was on the other. As I opened the Bible I was distracted by the list on my other leg...a long list of reminders of the pain my children carry with them and a reminder that the life I lead is not always easy and is often quite tiring (physically, yes, but mostly emotionally). As I began to feel overwhelmed by that I saw a verse in my Bible...Jeremiah 31:2 "I will come to give rest". Now, mind you...that verse is taken out of context but at that moment it was a message to me. Christ will provide rest when I need it. So, I put away my book list and just read and soaked up God's word for a while.
Soon the announcement I was dreading came on the speaker at the bookstore..."please bring your final selections to the front of the store".......RATS, so I closed up my Bible and headed to the front. There was no line at the checkout counter but I still paused to read some magnets before checking out. Here is the magnet I read....."Some people walk in the rain and others just get wet." WOW!!
REMEMBER, just a few minutes earlier I felt God telling me that his love was like the rain. Now I see his message to me come full circle. How is His love like rain in my life right now...I am just getting wet in it. I know it's there...I see it, I feel it, I acknowledge it...but DO I WALK IN IT? Do I every day slow down and walk in His love. NO!
So, on the way out to the car you know what I did. YEP, I slowed down, threw my arms out, looked up and let God shower me with love with rainfall. It was the best shower every and as I drove home I did not feel the "wet"...just God's SOAKING LOVE!

Let's CUDDLE...

2008-04-10T15:39:00.004-04:00

I have told you about our little baby girl we had to say good bye to but I have never spoken on this blog about my cousin Dylan. He came to stay with us for a few months while his parents went to the cayman islands to re-build their home that had been destroyed in the hurricane. Dylan is a sweet, sweet child and we love him greatly. He is an active little boy but filled with joy and exuberance. Anyway, this is a photo of us in the kitchen cooking some apple cider (please note the hideous PINK countertops...yikes...that was reason enough to move). Dylan loved to cook with me and especially liked to make "fancy drinks". We made apple cider, flavored hot chocolates, and peppermint floats (his personal favorite).

It's been a while since I have hugged this little guy (far too long to be quite honest...you are all welcome to pray that he comes back to give hugs to his family soon) . I stumbled across this photo and it made me all mushy inside.

Oh how it feels to long for a simple hug from someone.

Ok, so here is the NUDGE. As I was staring at this photo I was overcome with the thought that I just want to hug him, hold him close and tell him I LOVE HIM. Then it hit me. It's been a long time since I have let God hug me, hold me close and tell me He loves me.
With Dylan it's not that I want to hear him tell me that he loves me...not at all. I want to be sure that he hears that I love him. I want him to take a minute (if only one moment) to sit in my lap, let me hug him and hear me tell him that I love him with my whole heart. I want to give Him my love...not recieve his love. It's that I think I hear God whispering to me today.
MY CHILD, LET ME HUG YOU, HOLD YOU, TELL YOU I LOVE YOU. (see, now we know it's from Christ cause it's written in RED)
I wonder, how many days Has CHRIST longed to just sit and hold me but I have been too busy to take time to notice. It's an off concept I know...letting God hold me but it's something that is lacking overall in my life right now...resting in His arms, cuddling up, hugging Him, just BEING with Him.
So, tonight I will do that (let God love on me)...tomorrow I will tell you about it (hold me to this). Maybe if you have not paused to let the God of the Universe and the lover of your soul hold you, you can carve out some time soon. Then you can post about it on your blog or in my comments section. If you do this and post it on your blog let me know and I will link your post.
May we fill Christ's arms and allow Him to fill our hearts as ONLY He can!

Souvenirs or Scars...you decide

2008-04-08T23:29:00.008-04:00

Well, last night we returned from our first official family vacation with all 5 kids. It was an experience. I thought I would let you glimpse our vacation by way of telling you of the souvenirs we bought.

At the start of the trip daddy gave each child $5 and we paid up for the chore work they had done lately to earn some money. So, each child had money burning a hole in their pocket. Here is what they bought:

The middle boy bought a plastic camera at the aquarium where we petted sharks.

He was then the only one that could take photos in the BODIES exhibit we saw at the end of the trip. He loved using it to "take pictures" of the bodies "dingle dings".

The oldest boy and the girl both bought slime at the aquarium with a penguin in it. That slime is now finding it's home in the van carpet, the curly headed one's shirt sleeve, and the pillow at the hotel.

The curly headed one bought a foam finger at the Reds Game. Since then he has decided that a foam finger that had two fingers up would be even cooler cause being number two is still really good plus it would also mean peace and that's two good things. The baby was not blessed with money he could spend but we did purchase for him a bone eraser at the Bodies Exhibit (that he promptly bit into) and spoiled him with a few extra pieces of candy at the Reds Game.

I suppose that we should say that Mom and Dad got a few "souvenirs" too...

We have the memory of the funny things our kids said when we took them to the bodies exhibit where they have parts of real bodies displayed for you to see and explore.

Some of our favorite bodies quotes were "that is so not a lady...the nipples are not big enough", "That is a short dingle ding", "I wish I had human eggs like girls so I could put them in my little warming pouch (like penguins) and warm them up."

We discovered that all of our children combined still do not equal 200 lbs.

We gained a headache from the cries of the middle boy who did not get to enjoy freedom in the freedom museum. He had to have a harness on the whole time...I know it looks weird but when you are trying to corral 5 kids ages 3-7 and he has already wandered off several times you do what you gotta do.

Stan and I did bring home a little genealogy that we were able to gain at the Museum and learned how to research some genealogy online...neat.

We also got to bring home sore throats from answering all the questions asked like, "Are they all yours?" and "Are they twins or triplets?". Although I gotta say by looking at this photo...I see their point! That's a gaggle of kids all about the same height.

We also came home with a giant headache from the festivities, a stomach ache from all the food, a lesson on how much toilet paper a child can stuff down the hotel toilet before you have to call the front desk for a plunger, and a new appreciation for the continental breakfast (kids can stuff an amazing amount of free food into their pockets and jelly packets and peanut butter packets can feed a family of 7 for lunch if you simply purchase one loaf of bread).

Oh yeah, and we have already planned the next vacation! So, I guess it was more souvenirs than scars.

What to Play....?

2008-04-01T11:13:00.002-04:00

I just minutes ago heard this in the other room. My daughter and middle son were playing with the props of a Bible and a blanket. My son had been laying down and "reading" the Bible to his sister. Things were being said like, "Jesus prince of me. Christ of God. Asked these for me to do. Jesus Christ Bible story." It warmed my heart...........Then I heard it....
"Hey, I got it. Let's play HANNAH MONTANA.", Said my daughter.
"Oh yeah! Let's not play Jesus Christ. I LOVE HANNAH MONTANA!!!" Shrieked my middle son.
And trailing behind was the baby boy, "Me too. Me too."
Guess we have some more leading to do with those little sheep.

picture fun

2008-03-30T20:00:00.000-04:00

Here is my uninspired post of pictures I just want to share...again.

I have something on my mind and heart to blog about but I have to have a chunk of time to do it and no chunks of time are falling out of the sky this week so STAY TUNED...it will come as soon as I can get it out there.

As for now nothing deep or too exciting just a couple photos I wanted to share.

Have you ever seen a 6 year old with muscles like this?

Granted...they are pushed a bit against her side but REALLY, they are that big in real life even when not against her side.

I love it when these two play together. They have such a neat realationship and I expect them to hang out a lot as they grow older. (after they go through the "i hate you...get away from me" stage.)

Like Grandpa

2008-03-24T13:34:00.004-04:00

My dad has this quirky thing he does with his glasses sometimes where he raises the part you are suppose to put behind your ears up to just behind his temples. It use to crack me up and embarass me. Most of the time he did it at home when he was wearing his eyeglasses but there was the occasional time when he would do it with his sunglasses while driving. The potential for embarasment during those times was too much for me to handle. :)

With 4 of my five kids having been adopted I love it when one of the adopted kids does something that is reflective of someone in our bloodline. For some reason it is just neat when they reflect us. HOWEVER, I must admit that when I saw my oldest son sitting at the table the other day like this:

It was , to say the least, unexpected.

My nudge for today.....we should all try to reflect our heavenly father even if reflecting Him is "going against the grain".

P.S. ----Dad, why DO YOU DO THIS? Do I need to take my son in to have his eyes re-checked?

Wardrobe Malfunction...

2008-03-22T23:26:00.004-04:00

So, my oldest son climbed off the bus the other day and as he took off his backpack and coat his brother and I busted up laughing. THIS IS WHAT WE SAW............................................................

This is not the first time we have had this type of wordrobe malfunction.

When we told him his clothes were on backwards he replied, "I wondered why my pockets were so big!!"

Gotta love this one! :)

I wonder how many times I am not using my noodle and God looks down and chuckles thinking to himself..."Gotta love that one."

If nothing else my family and I must provide him with hours of entertainment.

the jail bait, bookworms, and battery thieves that live in my house

2008-03-19T23:26:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to share some of the fun photos I dumped off of my memory card today. Gotta love the random posts. But really, it's the small things that mean so much when they are gone and these are some of the things that will live on in this mommy's memory for a long time to come.

Here's my baby doing something he does often...getting into the batteries. He believes batteries can fix anything. The other day he went to the bathroom and could not go. I asked if he was OK and he said his pee was not workin'. I asked what was wrong and he responded, "Maybe it need battrys". Maybe son...maybe!!

This was our two oldest's musical program at school. They were to dress as whatever they wanted to be when they grow up. The curly headed kiddo wanted to be a preacher but since preachers wear regular clothes and that was not fun enough he opted for a basketball player cause "that would be cool to be too". He is in the second row on the left side of the photo right behind the girl in the white shirt and shorts. Our other 1st grader decided to be an astronaut but as we got him into his outfit we realized that from afar and without the helmet he appears to be an inmate at the county lock up!! He is front and center in the orange jumpsuit!!! Gotta love it.

Here's the girl practicing her new-found skill...reading. She is just devouring books lately and takes such pride in being like the big brothers. She amazes us!

May the little things touch your life and give you pause to celebrate TODAY!!

weary and heavy laden

2008-03-18T10:24:00.002-04:00

Just wanting to ask for prayers for me today. I need to be a strong mommy and I feel weak. Life is just building up and I need a strong sense of God's presence today...specifically that he will carry me and that He will not only equip me but strengthen me. I know all of it in my head and heart but today I need it EVER PRESENT! Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Neighborhood Dreams

2008-03-15T23:04:00.000-04:00

We have been so busy this week. It's been beautiful here for several days and we are finding out that our neighborhood is busting at the seams with children. The kids are all about going outside and playing with new friends. Yesterday I stood outside and counted 12 kids outside playing ranging from age 2-10 (and only 3 of them were mine). It was a good feeling. I do not think the kids will be bored this summer!

As I stood there I started to wonder what those children and their parents would mean to me five years from now. They are currently virtual strangers but in five years they will be friends, co-workers, confidants, buddies...a big part of our social support network. I wonder which of those kids will be our kids close buddies. Who will be sneaking out of the house with the boys and who will be on the phone with our daughter till all hours of the night. Who will share hand-me-downs and who will we share ours with. Who has the best garage sales and who will WATCH MY KIDS! :)

And then CHRIST turned my thoughts to his...Who will need our love the most and who will teach us about love in ways we have not experienced? Who needs Christ and who will draw us closer to Him. Who will we laugh with and who will we give smiles to? Who will we cry for and who will cry with us? Who will we bleed for and who will we tell of the blood Christ shed for us? Who is it out there that needs us the most and what do they need? AND AM I LOOKING FOR IT NOW? I am sure that God is waiting to reveal it to me. May I be watching for it and looking toward my neighbors through HIS eyes.

It's all a mystery at this point (although our daughter tells us that two of them are already her best friends). I pray this becomes our mission field and that our home becomes a safe haven for those who need it. I pray our children see it as such and I pray we embrace the wonderful neighborhood God has planted us in.

SPRING IS HERE...time to roll up the sleeves and start planting God's seeds in our neighborhood as we learn from them and love them.

Thank you, Thank you very much!!

2008-03-15T00:14:00.012-04:00

I went to picture people today and spent way too much time and money getting my youngest two boys pictures taken but it was all worth it just for this photo. Why, because they captured the way I believe he feels on the inside when he is caught in mischief.

It's as if while he is smiling up at me I can peer into his little brain where he is internally striking this pose and shouting out with pride, "thank you, thank you very much...I'll be here all night (nah, i will be here till i'm at least 25)"

let's recap.

This is how he looks on the outside:

I am pretty sure this is how he feels on the inside:

Thank You, Thank You Very Much...I'll be here all night!!!

Living Life With Our Sleeves Rolled Up!

2008-03-07T00:00:00.001-05:00

About a year ago I heard a commercial for a tractor company whose slogan was "Tractors with their sleeves rolled up." That really hit me and stuck. I loved the mental imagery that those words "SLEEVES ROLLED UP" gave me. I am from a county with some of the most fertile farm ground in the country and it was not an uncommon sight to see a farmer out in the field with his sleeves rolled up working and sweating. I also get the picture in my head of some of the men and ladies I have served with on mission trips building and laboring for a cause. There are so many pictures in my memory of people who literally have their sleeves rolled up.

When I flipped through those images that day I wondered, "What does it look like for a Christian to have their sleeves rolled up and am I doing it?". I have been letting that marinate in my mind for some time now. It's taken me time to pick this apart but here it is...what that means to me:

There are several things that exist in my mental snapshots of people with their sleeves rolled up. The first thing is obvious. Their sleeves are rolled up!!! It seems to me that when those people who roll up their sleeves get out of bed in the morning and stand there at the closet deciding what to wear they don't know that they are going to spend the day with their sleeves rolled up. If they did they would not have put on a long sleeved shirt, they would have dressed for the occasion and chosen a shirt with short sleeves. If a farmer sets out to spend the day in the cab of his combine and then it breaks down does he call a tow truck and sit there until one comes to tow the combine back to the shop? No...he gets out of the cab and gets to work fixing the thing. He lets go of his plan for the day and digs in to do what needs to be done. He considers it his job to do and does it without hesitation. It's about humility and availability (not about ABILITY). Are we available?

Am I AVAILABLE TO THE KING?

To me another thing of note is that in each of my mental pictures of people with their sleeves rolled up they are DIRTY. The dirt symbolizes to me that they are giving of themselves. They are DIRTY. That is (to me anyway) a sacrifice. They are engaged in a sacrificial way and have jumped in up to their elbows to fix the problem. I believe God is calling me to live that way...in the thick of it. It's not about living the good life. It's about getting it done and we all know that in order to get it done we more often than not have to make sacrifices. Are we sacrificing?

AM I AVAILABLE TO SACRIFICE FOR THE KING?

Another thing I notice about my mental images of people with their sleeves rolled up is that they are all sweating. Why?...noone likes to sweat. It's about perseverance. It's one thing to get in there and get dirty but do we quit when the going gets tough? Are we still there digging in the dirt when we are tired and our muscles are cashed out? There are not many things that I know well but this one I get: Being a true Christ follower and chasing after His plan for our lives is NOT EASY! It demands perseverance. If we give up too soon we don't help him finish it correctly. Don't get me wrong, He will still see to it that it is finished correctly...we just won't get to be a part of the bigger picture of his plan. If He asks us to do it He will strengthen us to do it. So, why do we give up when the going gets tough? Are we persistent?

AM I AVAILABLE TO SACRIFICE AND PERSEVERE FOR THE KING?

I guess that is the question for me. It's the challenge I believe God is placing before me. I think God has set me on my Quest...I don't know the details but I have one thing...He wants my sleeves rolled up. I don't know how often I am really a Christian with my sleeves rolled up but I pray that the imagery of "sleeves rolled up" will stick with me all my life and give me the drive to find that feeling in my own life on a daily basis.

Like Oil and Water

2008-03-06T16:39:00.005-05:00

If only someone had told me...

There are some things that one just should not have in a house with a three year old with attention issues. How I wished I did not learn the hard way that some things can't co-exist.

So, for anyone out there who may one day have a three year old with Attenetion Issues let me advise you of this loudly and clearly.......THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS THAT CAN NOT EXIST IN THE SAME SPACE!!!!!!!

I am overhauling our house and trying to make it safe for him and sane for his siblings. Step one was to buy locking toy bins for the brother he shares a room with (of course he pulled the combination off the back of the padlock before brother had it memorized!!!!). His brother's solution was that we buy two of every toy so we have a backup for him when little brother breaks toys of big brother's.

Here are some things that we have found don't mix with our "ADD" child:

~Sharpie Markers

(from computer screens to walls he's marked them all up. In fact I am typing this right now through a marked on computer screen)

~Toothpaste
(it's amazing how many places I have found toothpaste in our house...from walls to hair to the treadmill to big brother's new mittens. I have found a toothpaste that matches the wall color though so I think I may allow my other children to still brush their teeth with toothpaste for the time being.)

~The pottery I made in high school that won 1st at our art show
(well, it can exist in the some house as him but apparently it must be broken into a thousand little pieces before they can co-exist)

~Eyeglasses
(we are on our 7th pair)

~Paint
(of any variety)

~Keys
(Our little Houdini can use any key to open anything...and then there is the issue of the little button that activates the van's alarm...he likes to push it and then run and hide)

~Sweets of any kind
(he will climb to the top shelf of the pantry at 3:00 A.M. just to lick a candy wrapper. A few weeks ago he discovered a package of those harry potter jelly beans that have flavors like puke, dirt, boogers, etc... Did that stop him? NO...he ate the whole thing! There is nothing the child won't do to get that sugar rush.)

~Books we love
(he rips them)

~Vitamins
(too close to sweets. He often can be found hiding behind his daddy's recliner hiding and trying to down a whole bottle of them)

~Anything inflatable

~Knives
(put the above two together and you can see the issue!!!!!)

Oh yeah...we also need to get rid of the refrigerator, the pantry, the toilets and all faucets. :)

IT'S A GOOD THING HE'S CUTE!!!

And really, he's pretty darn cute (or is it just my ADD colored glasses?)

Nudge ignored....

2008-03-05T14:47:00.003-05:00

So, today I did it. I ignored a nudge. An OBVIOUS one and a BIG one. I was driving along down the street having just gotten groceries. I had set my mind on being done with the groceries by 2:00 so I could get home and make the appointments I need to make over the next few weeks. Not only was I done by 2:00 I was done by 1:45. So, I had an extra 15 minutes. I was excited about getting a few minutes to sit and do nothing before having to get going on the phone calls. I had no kids with me and I was ready to relax. All the sudden I noticed something that made me sit up and take notice. An old man was outside shoveling the sidewalk. Now that is not a big deal but let me tell you the rest...he was shoveling it while using a walker. YES...an OLD man shoveling his ICY sidewalk while using his WALKER. So, the obvious nudge came swiftly and quickly..."DAWN...STOP AND HELP THAT MAN". It was a no-brainer. But I had to go relax and, well, he was almost done. By the time I stopped he would have probably been done...YEAH RIGHT...because we all know how swiftly old men with walkers shovel their sidewalks. Zippedy Doo Dah!!!!!
So, what does one do when they miss a nudge from God...I guess we learn our lesson and don't let another opportunity slip by. May we all be open to His leading and may we follow when He does lead us.

NaNa got's SUGAR!!

2008-03-03T23:13:00.002-05:00

My husband and I just got back from a great weekend away in Chicago. It was a lot of fun. As my Husband says, "We dropped our kids off along the way like bread crumbs". With 5 kiddos age 7 and under it truly does "Take a Village". So we dropped one at grandma and grandpa M's, one at Aunt Kelly's, one at Uncle Kipp's and one at grandpa and grandma K's. Here are some of t he best things I heard from the kids.

1. I really kinda look like Johnny Cash with a beard and a tattoo and my hair straight...Aunt Kelly said so

2. I got to go to big church...they watch movies in big church...did you know that?

3. They have a new church at grandma's and they eat in it.

4. NaNa got's SUGAR!!!

5. We sang happy birthday to invisible Uncle Scottie.

6. Me and aunt kelly and can shake our booties for the camera for a long time.

7. He did not have one single video game with no shooting in it.

8. I got more tickets than I ever imagined.

9. NaNa got's SUGAR!!!!

10. I got to see two trains but they were getting fixed.

11. I ate so much spagetti mom...it was so great...and I had ice cream and cake too.

12. I stay at NaNa's now?

13. Can we go back next week?

14. NaNa got's SUGAR!!!!

So, they had a great time and we did too. On the way home my husband said, "Well, are you ready to go see the kids".........Admittedly I was not. But once they were back in the van it just seemed "right" once again. We are so blessed to have the ability to get away and leave our kids spread across the midwest each in loving hands of family. Our family is the best!! THANKS GUYS!!!

Crystal Clear Memories

2008-02-29T09:01:00.007-05:00

I have posted several times about my first foster child and her journey through life's roller coaster and the way God finally brought her home. It's been a wild ride and a crazy hard one to watch and participate in. In my other posts it is obvious that I have peace with where she is now and am so grateful to God for her being HOME finally. All of that is true but today I am just missing her and in some ways re-living the pain of her being taken so abruptly. And, I want to sit here this morning and cry...

But for now I will write:

I always wanted to remember her smell. That seemed so important to me. So important that I took a onesie and let her wear it for a whole day and then sealed it up hoping desperately to preserve her smell. I know it was crazy (and did not work by the way) but that is what we foster mom's do sometimes...anything we can to hold on to what we've got...even the memories. Though that did not work I have to tell you that as I sit here typing I REMEMBER THE SMELL. For a while I could not...weird huh? But today as I let my self reminisce about her with a friend...it came back. I guess God knew I needed her smell today. He is SO GOOD sometimes. Today he blessed me with the smell of that baby girl.

I remember so much of her...the way her little mouth turned up into a smile and how that smile looked like she had a secret she shared with you alone.

I remember the way she held your finger when she slept.

I remember how she just seemed to melt into you when she slept and cuddled.

I remember how she loved to sit on my son's lap and fall asleep in his arms. It was a miraculous connection she had to him...so comfortable and safe with him. How many babies do you know that would let a 4 year old hold them to sleep and how many 4 year olds do you know that would hold a baby for her entire nap. I KNOW ONE OF EACH and they were so cute to watch.

I remember how she dribbled milk out of the side of her mouth EVERY TIME SHE TOOK A SIP. We tried every type of bottle and nipple on the market and when that did not work we bought the entire store's supply of burp rags and bibs and I bought nearly every outfit I saw that had a matching bib with it.

I remember how she would cry as she was picked up for visits with her bio-mom and how she slept the whole visit but woke up immediately upon returning home.

I remember how she would never go to sleep unless she was being held tightly or swaddled and laid down in the baby papasan chair.

I remember her red little face and hands when I first saw her.

I remember sitting on the couch for 6 hours with our dog sitting at our feet waiting for Daddy to fly home and meet her.

I remember HIS FACE when he first saw her...the same delight I saw when our first son was born...the best look ever.

I remember how it took forever for her to grow hair.

I remember how she loved bath time and would kick and splash the whole time.

I remember how the light hurt her eyes and how she would go to sleep if there was too much activity around her.

I remember how she looked so amazing in that light, light pink color that is almost white.

I remember holding her all wrapped up in her fuzzy pink blanket...

AND I remember the morning that they took her from my arms into an unsure future.

Life seemed to stop.

The pain was so unbearable that I could not breathe at times.

My heart was in pieces.

The Fear was chilling.

The loneliness was heart breaking.

And today that loneliness returns....

I know it will get easier as time goes by and as the peace I now feel for her becomes more "normal" but for today...well, this may be the day I go to the basement, open one of those big red bins, pull out that fuzzy pink blanket I once wrapped her in and cuddle up with it in MY GOD'S LAP as He and I cry. It's so nice to have a God that FEELS our hurt too!

Playdough and Swingsets

2008-02-27T13:45:00.002-05:00

I have a child who is....well....let's say he has "ATTENTION ISSUES". He is such a busy little boy and seirously keeps me on my feet all day. He is a joy of a child and it's a good thing because if not I would probably make good on all the threats I have made to "throw him out the window". (a saying my mom and dad made popular in our home when I was growing up.) I have recently discovered that Playdough settles him down. There is not much that will cause him to sit still and settle down for more than 15-30 seconds but for playdough he will sit for 5-10 minutes. It calms him. It has been a great discovery and helps me get a few minutes peace now when I really need it.
So, I wondered what it is that does that for me. In my role as mommy I often need calmed and quieted. Of course I know that a day at the spa would calm me but I need playdough priced calming activities. Scripture calms me and that's free. Laughter calms me. A bubble bath clams me. Music calms me. But what do you say we all get creative and SPECIFIC with one another and share our calming strategies for ourselves (or...our kids). Here are some of mine:

-Listening to the song "You never let go" by Matt Redmon
-Swinging on a swing...not the adult porch swing but the child swings where you feel airborn.
-blowing bubbles in the snow...did you know that they freeze if it's cold enough
-watching my kids play (this only works when they are not yelling at each other...so like once a year)
-sitting in the tub with bubbles up to my ears and quiet all around and a starbucks carmel frappachino and blueberry muffin on a plate on the side of the tub.
-coffee candies that remind me of my grandma's house.

YOUR TURN...

The sound of GENUINE

2008-02-23T23:14:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I wonder what "Genuine" sounds like.
I suppose sometimes it sounds like "Mommy, you have a huge bottom".
Other times it sounds like "I don't know" or "I'm sorry".
Today it sounded like a Big sister crying because her baby brother leaves monday for South Korea (Yes, I am that big sister...I will miss you Drew-Dew).
Yesterday it sounded like "Honey I need you to come home now because if I have to give that child one more bath or spend one more minute pulling goo out of the carpet of our new home I will most likely lock myself in the bathroom and never come out again".
But when it is one person spilling to another person about a problem or struggle they are having and that other person replies with, "What can I do to help you?" Or "Let's tease this apart and see what we can do for you" it is such a Godly thing!!
May we all find genuine friends that will do that for us and may we be the genuine friend that gives others a place to vent, listens to them and offers to roll up our sleeves along side them and get dirty, tired, and worn from helping bear one another's burdens.
So, for me the sound of genuine is the sound of sleeves being rolled up.
What is the sound of genuine for you?